JOURNEY TO HERE (ON HOLD)

CHAPTER 4

Tammy went to the door after hearing the doorbell ring for the second time. Troy was thirty minutes early for their date Tammy thought looking at the clock on the kitchen wall, it was just two minutes pass seven. Even though Troy is impecatively know for being on time he has never been early like this before. Tammy trotted through the kitchen door bare footed to the front door. Thank God she had at least put her dress on and was finishing up her makeup so he want have to wait so long.

"Coming...hold on for a second!" She called after the third ring. Grabbing her keys she unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door.

"Oh my God! what are you doing here?" Tammy said smiling and opening the door wider. The visitor walked in and Tammy reached and gave her a big hug.

"I came to visit you as a surprise....Am I interrupting anything? I see your all dressed up."

"Oh no your not not interrupting. I was just getting ready for a dinner date. Actually I thought you was him coming early." Tammy said closing the door and walking Pam to the den area. Pamela James was one of Tammy's best friend when John first got elected as Governor for New York. Being a first time politician's wife Tammy didn't know anything about the circle of people she had to be around. Pam was the first person to make friends with Tammy and being older and wiser showed her the ropes. Pam's husband was a long time senator and working partner with John.

Pam looked around the spacious den area before looking down at her expensive gold watch. "A date huh?....you know I must get the details on that but if you want to be ready in time you better finish getting dressed. Ill get my bags out the car while you finish"

Tammy stop and turned around upon hearing Pam's last statement. "Oh no ill get Troy to grab your bags when he gets here. Come up stairs and let me show you to the guest bedroom" Tammy said taking the stairs.

"Ow Troy...sounds nice" Pam said with a playful smile.

Tammy couldn't help but laugh "he is very nice guy"

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"Tammy you have barely touched your food is everything ok" Troy asked looking at Tammy's far off expression like she was in deep thought.

"Oh yea I'm find" Tammy said looking down at her plate embarrassed that she had been caught daydreaming for the second time. So much was on her mind with John coming back and now both Troy and him being in the picture makes things so complicated.

"I'm sorry Troy. I'm afraid I haven't been such great company. I have a lot on my mind now" Tammy said putting a piece of the delicious steak into her mouth.

"Let me guess...it has to do with your ex-husband coming to stay here" Troy said bluntly.

"Well yea...actually" Tammy said nervously she hated to string Troy along. And right now she wanted to get these demons in her own life taken care of before she could think about bringing someone else in. "Listen I don't really want to string you alon...." Tammy stopped mid sentence when Troy held up his hand

"Tammy if this is some breakup speech your trying to tell me. I'm just going to say that hold off on the whole dropping me like a hot potato ok"

Tammy couldn't help but laugh "I'm not dropping you like a hot potato. I just want to get myself together first"

"I can definitely understand that. All I'm asking is that you don't send me out to the pasture just yet."

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"Well Good Morning sleepy head" Pam said watching Tammy walk down the back stairs leading into the kitchen. After turning into bed early from her all day travel to Tammy's house, Pam didn't stay up to see Tammy return from her date.

"Morning..." Tammy said with a sleepy smile rubbing her eyes. Tammy's bed hair was in full effect but she didn't care. She tied her short robe closer around her waist and went to fix a cup of coffee Pam had made earlier. After fixing her cup she set at the counter across from Pam and waited for the questioning to begin.

"Sooooooo....... you don't have to work at the shop today?" Pam asked making small talk. She knew she wanted to talk about Troy and everything right out.

"No we are closed on Sundays remember?"

"Oh yes that right. So how was the date with Troy?" Pam asked looking over her coffee cup suppressing a smile.

"It was nice. He is a really sweet man" Tammy said not knowing what else to say. She liked Troy but once again he just wasn't giving her that relationship feeling that she know he has for her.

"Hmmm....So my guess is your not really feeling him like that huh?" Pam said taking Tammy's thoughts right out of her head. "Does it have anything to do with John moving into town all of a sudden?"

Tammy eyes jumped up to look at Pam who held a knowing look. "H...How do you know that?" Tammy stuttered like a little child being caught in a sticky situation.

"Oh please Tammy...you know John and Ron are still very close. John told him about his plans to move closer to you and Mya and of course you know he told me I am his wife after all.......speaking of Mya where my sweet God daughter?" Pam's husband Ron and John was very good friends during Johns political time. It would only seem right that they kept their relationship since John felt Ron was a father figure to him.

"She is spending the weekend with John" Tammy answered

"Oh....and to answer my other question?" Pam said not missing a beat.

Instead of playing dumb, Tammy decided to answer the question truthfully instead of lieing to Pam and herself any longer "yes my feeling does have to do with Johns return. As much as I don't want to admit it" Tammy said with a big sigh. Being older Pam was always up front about everything and tammy respected the fact that she could go to her and always get a honest answer.

"Is it just a sexual thing...you know sometimes a good rump in the hay is just what the doctor ordered to get over John" Pam said smiling. Tammy couldn't help but smile over her cup.

"If only it was that simple. I wish I could just have sex and be done"

"So you are still attracted to John?"

"That and then some Pam" Tammy said looking sad and defeated. Tammy will always have love for John, he gave her the most beautiful gift ever. Mya, and she was truely grateful. But so much has went on and going back just doesn't sound like the right thing to do now. I mean what women would consider even giving a man the time of day after everything John put her through.

"Just follow your heart"

"Huh?" Tammy said looking up out of her deep thoughts

"I said follow your heart....John is a good man Tammy, and he loves that little girl to death"

" you don't have to tell me" Tammy said smiling

"But No man is perfect" Pam said looking serious all of a sudden. " Ron definitely has his faults. I know you and john might not have had the best marriage, but I know love when I see it. One thing my father use to say is....it might not be enough time to do it right the first time, but it's always enough time to do it over"

Well that's just great Tammy thought to herself. Leave it to Pam to make you think about something you really wish you could bury deep inside of you forever.

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Alright guys!!!! Sorry its soooo short I'm typing from my iPhone which sucks right now. Next chapter will be extra long to makeup for this one...... Let me know what you think.

What should Tammy do?