The shampoo fairy | | Jeon Jungkook ANGST

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗢𝗻𝗲

And just like that my life started to become a mess again XD

Ugh its 3:49 again! The time I hate the most, I hate the voice inside me.

Inside I'm feeling very empty, the emptiness started to consume me. I feel like I'm going to give up at any moment. I can't find my dream, my passion and something that'll drive me, show me the path that will lead me to what I've been looking for for so long. I'm no longer able to articulate my exact feelings, out of breath to talk about it anymore. I endure pain that is unbearable and uncomfortable. Every second goes by thinking, was life worth living?

I'm sorry, but being myself doesn't exist in my damn dictionary. Many year passed and I stayed hidden. My friends say they don't know what's on my mind. The amount of lies I've told my friends, my loved ones every time they asked me if I was alright. Seeing how others deal with their problems is much better than me.

I was silent. I said nothing until it took my breath away.

Let's just admit it-
Yes I'm broken, frustrated, torn to pieces. i want someone to be with me to dusk till dawn! I want to cry more But instead I just stopped overflowing my emotions .I just had to do it. 'Cause every time they'll ask me what's wrong , I'll never be able to answer.I- let's be honest Nothing is OK. Some of my parts are missing. At this damn point I'm really scared if someone would think I'm looking for attention and sympathy when I'm not. I wish I could say that I don't give a fuck about their opinion. I tried not to have that in my head.
but-

They asked me to open up but what's the use of it? They would just comfort me with a few words but would that stop my Overthinking? No. Just tell me how can a few warm words make me feel better? The same shitty words hit my heart countless times as I remembered how they comforted me. Dying every moment, ending up fighting inside? But I'm Happy, not because I want to, but because I must...

Countess of the Nights, crying and thinking that my friends and family don't love me, they don't need me anymore, I'm just a burden to them!

Ugh I wish I could destroy my existence or it would be like I never existed. How I hate myself! At some point I feel like I'm over loved, I'm blessed. I give more than necessary. Right now I feel like the complete opposite.The roller coaster of  emotions is killing me inside. Life is so tragic, isn't it? It shouldn't be that difficult for me. I am still a young boy growing spiritually. Give me time to grow, give me time to learn.

I'm still a human who need love, care and affection. I still can't handle anything by myself and they are already saying that I can handle everything for my good like wtf.

I just spent my whole fucking life thinking what people would say and literally stopped myself from doing anything and everything. And now when I looked back its shallow And I'm still dependent on others to guide me, to show me the path I should follow

The better I  know myself, the scarier the situation becomes. What can I do to myself? What can give me the peace I want, a breath that I won't regret? What would calm the storm? what's going on inside me. I'm still a person who needs love, care and affection.

I don't want to breathe anymore I don't want to see the future I didn't plan. I don't want to be torn apart anymore! I could have handled it better, I could have done it better.

I want my own world too. I feel like I'm running out of time! What about that unknown fear? Maybe it's all illusion. It's all lies, maybe I'm fine and I'm really happy.The sun will come out again after the storm

Hmp maybe I'm okay! I've to be okay!

Must wondering why i was saying all gibberish lmao. Maybe because a young boi was having a mental breakdown over literally nothing. Having his mood swings as always thinking someone will reassure him saying everything is gonna be alright and they'll believe in me.

All of this feels like a dream to me, that someone will really take me out of this black and white life, filling it with their thousands of colour.

Dreams will always remain dream and life will get more hard if I don't sleep by now.

Having school, tons of homeworks and all these depression, anxiety, panic attack and mood swing shits are really getting on my nerves.

Me? I'm a young boi growing up both mentally and physically. Currently 18 y/o, a sport lover and good at swimming.
My family? Let them be! There isn't a thing called family in my world.

Saturday, 7:30 am

Hey Jungkook! Wanna come over?
-Nah I'm good
You're weird. Nvm have a good day!
-Hmm bye!

*sigh*
I may be a good athlete and footballer but I'm not a celebrity or someone famous.
I'm not that good-looking, I'm just a insecure person with trust issues.

Umm hi!
-look I'm busy, don't disturb me.
I-I'm sorry jungkook.

Yeah my story is total opposite from those fictional ones. The famous and handsome kid is depressed af.

Heyy! Wyd pretty boi?
-A sweet voice came in my ear and I was looking for the owner of the voice.

Mr. Jeon Jungkook, you won't find me that easily
-Then how can I find you chippu?

Hmp don't call me with that name! I do have a pretty name!
-So girl with a pretty name tell me how to find you?

For that you've to play a game with me ;)
-Eh? I'm a athlete not a gamer *eyes roll*

I don't care lmao. You wanna see me or not?
-Ugh! Fine. Tell me the game

Well its not that hard. You just have to find a tree with a yellow flower that has the smell of honeydew, whice feels like a bee made it with honey
-Are you kidding me? Where can i find it?

It's in the garden where you go everyday and sketch a girl.
-How do you know about it? Who are
you?

As I said, you've to finish this task to see me and I'm always with you so I know what you do and when you're having a breakdown and everything.

As I said, you've to finish this task that to see me and I'm always with you so Ik what you do and when your having a breakdown and everything.
-How?

Just find the flower first and you'll know everything.
-UGH that's pathetic!

This voice has been annoying me for a month now. It would never answer my questions, instead it would just keep talking but when it finally responded to me, it asked me to finish a task for no reason.

Wait! Is it that flower?