Late Nights.

Ch.7 ~ Loss.

I was in my bed. Lying still, I was completely numb. "You said you'd never leave me." Tears were rolling down his cheeks. His grasp was so tight on my cold hand that they started to turn white from the lack of circulation. "You said you'd never leave me." He wouldn't stop repeating those words. Over and over. I simply didn't reply. It was as if I had forgotten how. "You said you'd never leave me." I looked at him. His frame was weak. His guard was down. He was truly grieving the loss of me. The loss of his world. At least a part of it. I felt bad for him. What he did to my mother was horrible. How could something so horrible be that of good intentions? It confused me. "You said you'd never leave me." I sat up and squeezed his hand. "I never left you. I was always right here. So were you." He looked up at me. Tears covering every inch of his face. Bloodshot eyes. "We're matching." I smiled, trying to stop the blubbering that erupted from Tate. He chuckled and spoke. He had gotten himself into such a state that his nose was blocked entirely. It was as if he had the flu. "I suppose we are." He stood up awkwardly, letting go of my hand to brush off his pants to remove the imaginary dirt. "I'm sorry. It's just, I haven't seen you in so long Violet," my name still slipped off of his tongue oh so beautifully, "I guess I couldn't hold in the suppressed pain any longer." I closed my eyes. His words meaning nothing to me. "You got what you deserved Tate, you were ignored because you did wrong. How did you think I would still be able to look at you after what you did, let alone be with you?" His head hung in shame. Anger and rage filled every inch of my body, nothing could stop the wrath of suppressed pain. "Do you realise the pain that I have been going through?" His head still hung low and tears fell to the floor. Whose tears? I can't say. "Imagine finding out that you're dead, your father is dead and that your mother is dead because the love of your life impregnated her against her will forcing her to give birth to twins, one of which died as well, all for one lonely dead girl to have her fucking son back, all in one fucking week!" He stayed silent, his head so low I could no longer see his face. "Look at me or I fucking swear you won't have eyes to look with anymore." He looked up. His eyes were puffy and his whole face was red. He looked pained as he cried helplessly. "What do you expect me to say Violet? I used to be a fucked up kid. I murdered people without a care, I raped my girlfriends mother and lost the only person I ever truly loved. All because I couldn't fix myself up here." He said making a gun with his hands and pointing it at his temple. "I'd like to say that I'm sorry for being demented, but I'm not." I wanted to slap him. After all of this, he isn't sorry. "Violet, if I wasn't demented then I wouldn't have killed those kids, I wouldn't have been shot down, I would have been most likely married with kids by now. I wouldn't even know that you existed." His dark mind had a good point. And I hated that.