Met in The Castle (Vex Story)

Chapter One (rewritten)

     I'll be right back. 
     Stay here. 
     Don't move. 
     Mmmm...
     Tempting. 
     Very tempting. 
     Too tired...
     Then don't be tired? 
     No...
     She let out a small sigh. She'd been arguing with herself for a few minutes-
     Hours? 
     -and was struggling to stay awake. She couldn't feel her hands or feet or just about anywhere else on her body. She wasn't fully aware of that fact, either, even when she tried moving and thought she couldn't because she didn't feel herself moving. That only ended up with her laying in the snow, but she was already so cold it didn't feel any different. There wasn't much else to think about, but she also wasn't trying too hard. 
     Thinking is hard. 
     Really? 
     Mmmmm...
     The wind sounded nice to listen to. One of those sounds that was just right and perfectly between soothing and too much. It was unpredictable and...
     Too much thinking. 
     Maybe if she stuffed snow into her skull it would feel like cotton? It was one of her recent favorite feelings: to have her head stuffed full of imaginary cotton balls that made thinking next to impossible. It unfortunately made it harder to sleep, though, because when she forgot to imagine the cotton it was almost too much to handle. Going to sleep meant she would wake up and start thinking again-
     Cotton. 
     Quiet. 
     Mmmmmm...
     She fell asleep anyway...
     ...And then she woke up, and it was just as awful as it usually was but in a slightly different way. 
     She still couldn't feel anything, which was nice, but she could hear and see and oh god did she wish she couldn't smell right now. She tried to escape the rotting stench, but it was only crammed further up her nose. She tried once again, but gave in when the awful smell stayed up close and personal. 
     "Relax," a hoarse voice tried to coax her, "I'm trying to help you." 
     She considered it, but still tried to turn the slightest. Apparently her "helper" finally got the message and paused to change the position she was being carried in. In this position, she could look up at the sky and feel the large flakes of heavy snow sticking to her already freezing face. She could hear the voice again, but was too tired to listen. The smell wasn't as... hm...
     What's the word? 
     ..sleep...
     .....yeah 
     And then she was out again.

~~~~~

And that concludes the first chapter rewrite! I'm glad that Vix and her story has been better developed along with my skill. I know this is a short one, but it's all part of the bigger picture! There isn't much that is supposed to be revealed yet, but you'll see in the future! ;)
Be sure to check out my partner's version of the story too! Them: ScacitytheSkeleton