Life seem simple when your little there is no stopping you, everything is perfect. As you grow older u realize that nothing is. I'm a teenager and I don't understand how the word perfect can existed.
Every teenage has the stage of wanting to die. It hard to control and extremely painful. Doctor say this is caused by depression. Pushing the tears aside. Trying to show everyone that you are fine. The only thing you want to do is to break out into tears. The type of tears that you are grasping for air to keep your lung functioning.
But you can't the only thing you can manage to do is get this lump in your troat that is more of a punishment then a relief. You want to scream, shout, hit everyone and everything but you can't... Because you are to strong or to weak.
When someone ask are you ok, you always answer yes I'm fine because u don't want to scared anyone with feeling that u can't release. You want that person to look you in the eye and say tell me the truth. But even if they did, thoughs feeling are trapped inside of you and you have lost the key to able them let out the real emotion enduring inside of u with out escape. But don't worry one day u will find the key, I can't say I have yet and I'm not sure I ever will. but Never give up
Every day feel like a mountain that I'm trying to concord but I try and try but I never make it to the top. Never. It feels like your life is constantly being repeated and u have no control of what's going to happen next. It just feels like you are breathing, waiting, watching. For what.......
