A Daughter Of The King

Life in the States: The After Effect

I live in a place where I don't belong and I belong in a place where I don't live. With the Perú trip being so far gone and my heart still in the foreign land, I've had almost a bit too much time to think about all that took place down there. When I think of my Perú the first word that always comes to mind is home. They say "home is where the heart is" and after all this time my heart is definitely still in Perú. My body might be back but my heart definitely isn't.

I can't forget anything from the trip (which I am very happy I can still say). The people, the town, the streets, the orphanage, the ocean, the hills, the market, the children- They all stick with me as if I had just left yesterday. I love the fact that when I close my eyes in reflection at night, the vivid pictures and memories flow back to me. I always find myself on the top of the farthest dirt hill looking down on the city I fell in love with. The hills were the greatest journey we would take with the children, holding hands the whole way, talking, laughing and just making memories. I can see the Casa Hogar children playing, but I know they are too far out of my reach, just as they are now....

Now that I'm home I wish more than ever that I could be holding their hands, kissing their cheeks or receiving the world's best hugs like my time was spent down there. I wish I could be back where waking up at 6 was motivating because I knew I had a huge hug and kiss waiting for me, I knew once I got to mass I would have a smiling kid leaning on my shoulder and holding my hand all mass, and I knew that if I sat anywhere close to Karolina I would hear the most adorable singing as she gave up all the had to God.

These children are orphans- they don't have the perfect life, they never will. What I learned most from these children is that even though we don't anyways get what we want or need, life is still going on and as long as you're still alive you should make the best of it. I learned that just because you're down doesn't mean it's any reason to give up. The children I met down in Perú were honestly the happiest children I've ever seen. It didn't matter what troubles they were facing, they knew they could turn to their other brothers and sisters and they would take what they were given and praise God for all they did have. These children didn't have parents who they could turn to each night, but they did have each other. They truly knew they were blessed even as they were in their struggles.

One of the hardest things about coming back is that people here don't understand. They don't know what I saw or how lucky we actually are in America. It sickens me to watch kids take a load at lunch and then just throw it away. Working at a restaurant I watch meals be thrown away each time I work because "they thought they were hungry but they obviously weren't". I personally believe that if you buy it, you shouldn't waste it. You're throwing away your money and your food. There's no win there. If you are okay with just tossing your money in the trash why not give it to someone who could use it and is in need...

There were several humbling moments for me while I was down there. Some of us Americans stopped outside on the dirt streets to go to the candy cart. After paying the 80 centos (26 American cents) to get a candy bar, I realized how even this could be such a luxury for the people in 3rd world countries. Most meals consist of rice and if you're lucky a mix of vegetables and maybe a tiny bit of meat for a sauce. I didn't even think about how for most children, when we handed candy and fruit out on the streets, this was the sweetest thing they may have tasted in days. It didn't even cross my mind how this might be the only break they get from rice. Most parents wouldn't give their kid a sol just to get candy when it could mean the difference from a meal or not. This is why I was so shocked when the Peruvian people would share what little they did have with us (crackers, juice, candy, etc.). It was rude to not take it because that would mean you're looking at them as less. I would grab a little, hug them tight and thank them. It was amazing how even the children at Casa- who bought snacks with their own money from sponsors- would offer you a bite. They crave the love of others more than food itself.

Another heart touching moment was how every morning at church there was a time to say intentions, and every morning there was a 6 year old girl who would pray for the children in Africa who had less then them and were worse off. This really just got to me. How many times have we forgotten to pray for those worse off as were too busy thinking about what we don't have? I know I have. I know how many times we have extra food on the table at the end of the meal and I know just as well that there are people just trying to find one tiny meal to hold on. I know there's people out there dying because they don't have food for weeks because- with no job and no pay- you are out on your own trying to just find the scraps you call necessities.

It's amazing how in America, a kid will throw a fight to have to share a toy with another, but in Perú the children give all they have to make others happy. They know true love and they want to share it in any way they can. The difference is the children down there have priorities. Sure they want that $70 new toy truck just like the American kids do, but they are would also be just as content with a cheap frisbee, hula hoop, or jump rope as long as they had someone to play with. The children would much rather have a friend who cares for and loves them than an expensive toy. Love over material is a great way to live.

"I was coming to understand that what it means to be real is to love and be loved until there is nothing left."-Katie J. Davis "Kisses from Katie". The thing about the children from Perú is that even though they are broken and poor, they still can love you with everything they have. We received unconditional love every second we spent with them. They never give up hope and they always are grateful.

They say after a mission trip there is 4 steps: exhaustion, depression, cultural frustration, resolution. I wasn't really exhausted at first but it was definitely a change to be back. The depression and cultural frustration go hand in hand when it comes to human interaction after everything I've seen. People don't understand that things are different for me now. After all I've experienced and how much I found myself this summer, it sucks to be "home". I have a completely different view. After finding myself down in Perú, the resolution part has kind of started coming together in my mind, I just want it in action now. I've decided I will go on more mission trips and I have declared my life goal as working with children. I plan to be an elementary teacher and be want to try to stay on the path by involving myself in settings like internships, camps and programs. I have been changed from this trip. You don't just leave a 3rd world country the same way you came.

From my experiences, I think we learn the most from those who are deemed "Lesser" in society- those who are poor, those who are younger, and those who are mentally/physically disabled. Those who don't have as much material items teach us that you can still be happy with what you do have. Those who are younger teach us to go with the flow and take every moment as it comes at you. Those who are disabled show us true happiness and what a real smile looks like. It's the people who are different than us- in ways of difficulty- that teach us what is it to be real.

When I think of the people from Perú I realize that they taught me what it really means to be on the top of the world. They showed me what living really means. They live the happiest lives even with the little they have. They are the best Catholics out there, praising God for what they do have. We are far too greedy and we tell God what we want when we already have so much more than millions others.

That's one of the things that bother me most. In America, giving away a couple pieces of gum or going and buying your own pack is nothing. Down in Perú a pack of gum could result in the biggest smile you've ever seen. Giving gifts here is all about receiving in return. It's an expected and socially accepted manner. Randomly giving out candy on the streets- a simple gesture- was spectacular to witness down in Perú. In parades here, we all just compare what we got and trade out what we don't like. On the streets of Lurin, we gave out whatever we had in our bags and the smiles from the kids were better than anything else we could have gotten back in return.

In conclusion, that place that I used to call home isn't really much of a home to me anymore. The US feels like more of a temporary home. I know I'm made for bigger and better things. I'm made to experience the world. I'm made to minister to the needy.