Hold Me Close

Chapter 1

I think we should break up.

That was it.

My heart shattered into a million pieces after those words came out of my mouth. It was as though the whole world was falling on me and the weight of it was too hard to bear. I looked in his eyes when I said those words and never have I ever seen anyone with that much coldness in their eyes. It was as though whatever I said, he couldn't be bothered by it. It was as though, I meant nothing to him. After all these years, how can he act like as though it doesn't matter if I leave?

"You're just being dramatic Ayla. How many times have you thrown that sentence around and not mean it?" he asked, nonchalantly.

"I mean it. This time." I looked away and clenched my fist.

"You want to break up because I said you were acting like a kid?"

"Come on, Theo. You know it didn't start off that way. You act as if you've never done anything wrong. You're still the same even after 8 years"

That's right. 8 years.

Theo and I met in junior high and he's liked me for 4 years. Although I rejected him in all those 4 years.

Finally, in high school, we grew close and I decided to open up my heart to him. It was both rocky and amazing and seeing it was both our first relationship and we were each other's first love, we didn't know how to handle fights and arguments. As time grew by, we too grew apart. But funny thing, we were still together.

"Why do you have to be so dramatic over everything?"

I snapped out of my short lived memory of us in the exact same park we are at except we were happier.

He held my hand and I laughed listening to his jokes. It felt like lifetimes ago.

"You're an ass Theo. You've never once thought about the way I've felt. All you care about is yourself. So much for chasing me for 4 years. Once you got me, you thought it was enough. Like i was a prize to you"

Tears started falling down and I just couldnt take how he could treat me this way.

"You are always bringing that up. We've been together for 8 years. When will you just let it go?"

Ouch. Well that one hurt a ton.

I just looked at him in disbelief.

"You know what Ayla? Go ahead and break up with me. Call me when you're ready to talk to me like a proper adult and not throw around the word "break up" "

He shrugged and just walked off.

Leaving me.

I just stood there. Like the dumb girl I was. Waiting for him to turn around and just run back to me and apologise.

Apologise for all the lies, the deception, the girls. Everything.

I couldn't understand any of it.

How someone who was so anxious to be with me could become so indifferent.

Where do those emotions go?

What happens to that wonder?

Why does interest inevitably diminishes after the start of a relationship?

I stood there, hands shaking, tears falling down and with my last straw of energy, i fell to my knees and cried.