one shot dump

- 1 -

I sighed as I stare at the door leading to the basement. I would have to go down eventually. I use my old grey baggy t-shirt that I was already wearing to why the slight sweat was building upon my face. Letting out a second sigh, I unlocked the door and walked down the stone steps. Reaching the bottom of the steps there was complete darkness.

Shuffling around, hands pressed against the wall, I began looking for the light switch. I have been dreading coming down here, but I know I have to be able to move on from them. I had a little jump when I felt my left hand touch a metal switch. Flicking it, I looked around the room seeing all the dust particles and boxes made me groan as my mind processes how much work I have to do just to clean this place up.

"This is going to be a drag," I said to no one in particular. I picked up the first box. Out of curiosity, I looked inside the cardboard cube. The first thing I see is a picture of them.

I still remember the day even though it happened so long ago. It was a hiking trip in LA. We when thereafter five months of dating. Them standing at the top of the hiking spot with their hands in the air celebrating their achievement. Their skin looked ethereal under the sun. In general, the day was memorable. We took videos pictures and overall, we had a wonderful time... or so I thought. Because when we got back home, they suddenly started ghosting me. Ignoring all my texts and calls I started to get worried, so I contacted their friends to see if I can reach out to them. But their friend all replied with how I should be ashamed of myself and then they blocked me. Thinking that my used to be lover needed some time and space I gave them that.

A few months later I got a call at 3 am. Without looking at the contact I answered it, only to hear their mom yelling at me for killing their daughter. My mind ran blank when I heard her say that I killed her daughter. Saying that she was found in her apartment with a noose around her neck.

The shock completely consumed me not being able to muster up any words to defend myself of being accused of a murder. But somehow miraculously I mustard up the words "how and when?". You see she was there when I was going to commit saying that we will adopt cats together only for her to turn around and do this. I felt betrayed. I felt like I was in in that blackhole again. Everyone was leaving me again. Her mother was just cursing me blaming me for the state she found her in. Blaming me just to blame someone. My phone dropped onto the floor and her cursing was still heard from a distance, but I didn't care. I began to walk out of the apartment and into the rain I didn't have any idea onto where I was going. I just walked with tears in my eyes and eventually I began blaming myself as well. Maybe if I didn't meet them then they wouldn't have gone through all that.

But neither the less it has been years now.

I think I moved on. My heart still hurts though.

I should have moved on by now.

I don't think I can get over them.

They betrayed me, they left me behind.

They made me so happy, I started getting better.

Yeah, and now your back at square one.

I was so addicted to them that I didn't see that it was going to fail.

It's okay it's all in the pass. We should be happy for them.

Let's not trust people anymore. We must let them go for good.

Letting out what was like my 50th sigh today I set the picture aside and carried on cleaning the basement. Once I was done cleaning and sorting what needs to be sent to charity, I picked up the photo and decided to send it to their parents they should have it in the end. They would be much happier with it than I would be.