The unknown girl

Chapter 1: In my fam, I knew where I stand

"Ro, you can't learn in life very well if you are forever depending on us." My big sister said, in her little loud tone.

"When I was your age, I was only 7 years young like you, I already do everything myself, no mom, no dad." She continued now with a calmer voice.

"Right, Maimai, I really don't know how will children nowadays learn life if they don't get independent at a very young age." Shams added agreeing with Maimai who was like a parent lecturing her daughter.

"Look at us, we're now in college and no one has ever helped us except our determination. Well I mean, you should be proud of your two big sisters and be like us." Maimai alternated.

I didn't say a thing. What's important is, I informed them about the parents' meeting.

"But don't worry I'll come with you tomorrow and represent Khaalah... just go downstairs now coz we have something to do." Ended her instruction with closing of their door.

My heart sighed. Wished mom was there, ("When will you and dad come home? I miss you already.") my thought.

Decided to go to our grandma's room instead of playing jackstone. I saw her napping in her bed and ran to her, I hugged her back tightly. A 7-year-old me cried secretly at the back of my sleeping grandma, until my tears put me to sleep.

"Ro, my dear... wake up already, you haven't taken your dinner yet." My grandma woke me up after 4 hours.

"Kid, don't act like an adult, you shouldn't skip dinner." After my mom, my grandma knows me best, she knows I have a weak stomach. I smiled, I saw a plate different food in it, she put a sandwich in it, a little pasta, a fried chicken which clearly a leftover but I don't mind coz I know it's from my elder siblings, and a seemed like one cup of rice, on the side, is a fruit salad which the red melon shows at the top.

"Thank you Jaddaty..." I said to her with a big smile on my lips & eyes not knowing the word I LOVE YOU could be much way better. If only... Well, I was only 7 and didn't see anyone that affectionate in words yet.

I haven't said those words to my grandma, but I surely have made her feel it. I surely knew where this 8-year-old me stands in her grandma's life, and where she stands in her elder siblings' life.

(PS. Part:

I remember it was 7 pm in the evening and I couldn't express how happy I was with just that kind of meal. Well, thanks to my Jaddaty who never fails to save foods in every evening meal for us, the younger ones, from the elder ones' foods, every time they have their evening meal, coz we never actually get to join them, given one of the house rules made by them-- "KIDS WHO ARE NOT FASTING SHOULDN'T JOIN EVENING MEALS, THEY GO AFTER IFTAR". Yes, you're right—it was the fasting month, and IFTAR is the time to break the fast. But don't get me wrong, that is only exclusive in our house, not every household has that unique rule, I'm sure other kids get to enjoy the iftar with the elders.)

I went to Maimai's room. As a little girl who has looked up to her big sisters, I always checked up on Maima & Shams. I was fond of imitating them in terms of favorites. Their favorite band is my favorite band. Their favorite color is also my favorite color. Their favorite subject is also my favorite subject.

Compared to Maimai, Shams is a little boyish. She doesn't let her hair reach the bottom of her shoulders, she likes short hair. She likes Karate, and that's what I take from her, I began to act liking Karate until I found myself in a Karate Club years later. 

Yes, I adore them.

But sometimes, questions are visiting my mind. ("Why are they harsh to me most of the time? Sometimes, they are not kind to me at all... They always tell me what I lack instead of what I have...") Until I realized, I was longing for their praises... the 7 year old me wanted to be praised by my 2 big sisters.

(Have you ever been there? Wanting your big sister to compliment you? Even if it's just for a small thing? Hi five...)

So, there I continued studying without my sisters' help. I have learnt that as long as you know the drill on how to use the dictionary, it will serve you everything that has to come next. Yes, I was just in grade school that time.