Kitty Pitcairn Local PI

Untitled Part 1

Kitty Pitcairn stood behind her 95% drawn blackout curtains with one eye firmly fixed on the 5% which remained open. The garden below and to the front of the building belonged to John and Sally Toner a quiet but strange couple she guessed in their early fifties. Kitty for some time because of the various comings and goings had suspected wrong doings, top of her list being drugs and or stolen goods. And now her suspicions would appear to be confirmed with the sight of red and white tape spanning the street to blocking all through traffic. This was coupled with six uniformed Police Officers searching the garden and surrounding Pathway's with an enthusiasm which said, "What the hell are we doing here? the doorbell rang. Kitty, an attractive, well proportioned woman of forty two years and wearing only her after shower dressing gown unlocked the three safety bolts and pushed down on the handle whereupon the door swung open. "Sorry to disturb you" said a rather dashing young gentleman in a mid-expensive suit. "Mrs Pitcairn I presume" "Miss, if you don't mind" replied Kitty, "With as may S's as you like. No preditor from the male species has ever thrust a ring on my finger" " please accept our appologies Miss Pitcairn" said the other eaqually well dressed gentleman, "My name is Detective Delaney and my younger asscociate is Detective Black. We would, if it is convenient like to speak with you regarding your now deceased down stairs neighbours" "Are you telling me that the Toner's have left this place and gone to the after-life? asked Kitty. "Well that is one way of putting it" replied Delaney, but yes this is true. May we come inside we just have a few questions" Kitty Pitcairn moved to the right holding her dignity in tact with her left hand. Her lounge although it was the year 2010 was a throw back from a bygone era and resembled a scene from Downton Abbey. She had a seven foot chaislounge, two welsh dressers most likely coming from an Oxfam charity outlet and two red chesterfields one two seater and one three. "Have a seat gentlemen" said Kitty, "You may have the three seater. Tea is my only vice, but you are more than welcome to join me" Both Detectives declined and placed themselves on each end of the larger settee. "It is an unusual place you have created here Misss Pitcairn" said Delaney, "But I must admit that the decor reflects it's owner's persons" Kitty sat on the two seater directly across from the three seater, crossing her legs very slowly with a message that read, "You should be so lucky" "I have old things" she said, "Modern is so dreadfully boring don't you think. My idea of hell is Habitat" The Detectives had to pinch themselves to regain their composure. They were after all in the upstairs flat of a rather excentric woman situated on a Council estate in the East End of Glasgow. "Well Misss Pitcairn" said Detective Black, "I am sorry to inform you that your downstairs nieghbours John and Sally Toner have been brutally murdered, We suspect that this happened in the early hours of this morning, did you hear any kind of disturbance" "None what so ever" answered Kitty, changing her seating position causing both  men to scan the pictures which hung on the walls to the right and left of them. "But there were plenty of comings and goings" she continued, "They were certainly up to no good" "Can you elaborate on that? asked Delaney. "Well" continued Kitty, "After the hour of 9pm there are constant cars pulling up outside on the street creating a file of dodgy looking customers for what ever they were peddling. Last night in the small hours I heard nothing but that would not be unusual as I go to bed, on my own, each night at ten with a peice of cotton wool in each ear with a head-scarf tied tightly around my head to keep them in. There is also the fact that it has rained constantly for the past twenty four hours. So no Detectives I heard nothing. They very rarely left the house, at least not together. Most things were (as in this modern time,) delivered. I have a garden at the rear and apart from the one window that is boarded with Ply, all other windows have the curtains drawn at all times. I am sorry if I am no help, but I am sure all of the other residents will confirm what I say. "Do you think you could identify any of the visitors if I showed you some pictures of known addicts in the area? asked Detective Black, but this would mean you coming to the Station" "I don't really know" answered Kitty, "But it would do no harm I suppose to have a look. Would tomorow morning be suitable? "That would be great Misss Pitcairn" said Delaney, "Would 10am be suitable at Tobago Street and would you like me to send a car? "No that is not nessessary, Glasgow's finest have far too much to do without ferrying me across the City, 10am will be just fine"                                                                                                                                                          
After the Detectives had gone Kitty resumed her watch on the movements downstairs, but now she was using her camera and photographing all that was going on. For Kitty you see was an amature. She was obsessed with Miss Marples, Piorou and Columbo. Fifteen minutes into each program she would pause, making observations and recording facts on early suspects. 50% and she would review  her earlier thinking deleting negatives while adding positives. 75% in and Kitty would turn off the TV set and endevour to solve the crime. Laying all of the facts on her coffee table she would come to a decision on who, when and why. Using this method she was right more times than she was wrong. "How unfortunate but brilliant was it" she thought, "That an actual double murder had been commited right under her nose" She downloaded all of the photographs she had taken in the past month onto her computer, the most modern item she posessed, and set it on the table. Next she eliminated all young girls and even some teenage boys plus addicts who were barely capable of taking care of themselves nevermind viciously killing to middle aged people. After all the Toners were quite tall and if anything overweight. Therefor it would have required one or maybe two people of reasonable height and strength to overcome them in this way. By this method Kitty broke her suspects down to six individuals, five men and one woman. But who were they? Come the morning she would attend the local Police Station to share her findings with Black and Delaney knowing that it was illegal to photograph people without their perrmission and even though they were almost certainly criminals or drug addicts they still were entitled to the same legal rights as everyone else. Kitty after much soul searching decided that she would release her pictures and take the consequences, but at the same time she would not look into her six suspects until after her meeting with the Detectives. Her thinking being that if she had nothing to tell, she would not be lying.
At 10am Kitty arrived at Tabago Street Police Station near to the centre of Glasgow. After giving her details to the Desk Sargent she was re-introduced to Detective Black who was once again wearing a rather smart pinstripe suit. "Good morning Misss Pitcairn" he said, "You are very prompt although I would not have expected any other outcome. Please follow me " He led her through a maze of very narrow corridors which led to a small and very sparcely decorated and furnished room, not unlike a scene from Columbo. "Would you like a tea or coffee? he asked, "Detective Delaney will join us shortly" Kitty declined his offer saying that her breakfast had barely reached her stomach. They sat opposite one another at a rectangular table with seating set for four. She imagined a scene from one of her programs where two detectives interview a suspect who is sat beside his or her lawyer who is advising answers of no comment to all questions. Kitty removed her laptop from its leather case and punched up the page holding her downloaded pictures. "And they are? asked Det Black. "I have been taking photographs of the people frequenting the Toner residence. These are the comings and goings from the past month, but there are many more. I am aware that it is probibly illegal but it could be helpfull to your enquiries." Detective Black paused for a moment, "It is not exactly illegal to photograph someone, although if it is not with the consent of the subject it may not be admissable in court. However a good Barraster can usually sidline the Jury with some carefully worded suggestions. so with that said let's see what you have got" At this point Detective Delaney entered the room and while his partner updated him he kept a watchfull eye on Kitty Pitcairn. He was a recently divorced, some could say handsome forty year old, and she was in every way very easy on the eye. Kitty rummaged in her bag for her note book, "I have broken down the list of suspects to six" she said, "You must have profiled the killer or killers to a certain height and weight being that the Toner's were themselves quite large and never seemed to be under the influence of drugs or alchohol. Were they attacked from the front or the rear, Did they see their killer or were they murdered in their sleep? Both Detectives stood silent completly taken aback by Kitty's questions. After all that would seem to have been their roll in the interview. "Why are you asking these questions? asked Delaney breaking the silence. "This is privilaged information Miss Pitcairn, you are here to answer our questions not the other way around. Why are you so interested? "Did I not mention my interest in crime dramas" answered Kitty, "I have a 75% success rate in solving TV murders and I am sure I could be very helpful to your enquiries" Once again stoney silence from the stunned Detectives. They shook their heads, they walked round the room only now and then glancing at each other in disbelief. Black returned to the table his right hand thumping down on its wooden top. "This is ridiculous" he shouted, "You are a crazy woman. What do you think we are going to tell you, this is a serious murder investigation." "So you don't want to know my six suspects? said Kitty quite indignantly. "As from this fucking moment we have no interest in anything you have to say" shouted Black, "You have completly wasted our time, now please leave and do not discuss this case with anyone" "Neither detective Columbo or Jack Reagan would ever have spoken to a woman in that way, you sould be ashamed" said Kitty, with no sign of flinching. "When you are ready to discuss my findings you know where to find me. Good day gentlemen" Kitty Pitcairn closed her laptop, placed it in her bag, rose to her feet, adjusted the waist of her ankle length skirt and left the room.