With nowhere else to go, it circles round

I'm at my highest peak, I'm ripe about to fall.

Heartbreak is greif that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It is a shard in ones guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time it will dull.

It wasn't noticeable right? He still smiled on stream, almost as if it never happened.

Tomorrow. What would have been 2 years, yet it was all thrown away as if it were nothing. Of course his friends knew what had happened but, none of them saw the anguish, remorse lying underneath.

But, after all she's put him through he still loved her.

The rain slowly dripped down his window a quiet murmur of thunder in the distance. In the small dimly lit room sat a forsaken boy.

In his head he would go over the words she told him just over a week ago over and over, to the point he'd memorised the message.

He remembers the day like no other. With that, his heart shattered, a thousand of its fragments spraying across the floor, and though each displayed kaleidoscopic reflections, his world had become permanently grey.

"Toms." A soft knocking on his door blew him out of his train of thought. Quickly wiping his tears, he stood up to open it.

There his mother stood, a warm smile on her face. "Here's your dinner honey." She said handing him the bowl of pasta.

"Thanks mum." Tom replied wanting to keep the conversation quick. With that, his mum turned around and slowly began walking back downstairs.

He shut his door with a quiet "click" and put his food to the side, he wasn't really in the mood to eat.

Sitting down at his pc, opening up the infamous discord app. He was greeted by quite a few dm's, mostly because he hadn't streamed or been on his pc since the break up.

He opened up his messages with Wilbur that read:

Tommy are you okay? I heard the whole ordeal.

Tommy?

Tommy, it's been two days and you still aren't online, please reply.

Tom, please i'm worried.

Please tommy, come talk to me. I know it's hard but i'm worried sick.

Its almost been a week come on man.

He swiftly clicked the call button, silently praying he wouldn't pick up. Alas, He was met with a relived sigh from the other end.

"God Tommy, are you okay man? You don't understand how worried I've been" His mouse hovered over the end call button. Yet, he didn't press it.

"I'm alright king, it's just been tough you know?" Tom replied, wiping his eyes that were now sore from all the crying he'd been doing moments prior.

"Yeah I get that, if you want I can speak to your mum and ask if you can stay down here for a week? If it helps." A lopsided smile on his face.

"That would be nice, I can ask her now if you want?"

"Yeah sure, Jesse might be round some nights if that's alright?" Wil asked, a slight hesitance to his voice.

"It's fine, I'll go ask her now, i'll be right back." He rushed up from his chair, a slight squeak echoing ever so slightly.

He reached the bottom of the stairs to see his parents arguing, once again. "Thomas, go back up to your room. Your not needed down here." His father demanded.

"I um," Struggling to form the words. "I just wanted to ask if it would be okay if I stayed round Wil's house for a week, he said it would be alright?" He asked expecting a hard no.

"yes of course honey, why don't you go pack your things. I can probably take you tomorrow, 'kay?" His mother replied.

Tommy nodded and headed back upstairs the yelling, that had now continued getting quieter as he walked.

He sat back down at his desk, Wil still waiting expectantly on the other end. "Well, are you allowed?" Wil questioned.

"Yep, mum said she can bring me down tomorrow." he said, rocking side to side - a happy stim of his.

"Well then Tomathy, I will be seeing you tomorrow." Wil saluted although the other couldn't see.

"I guess so, mr soot. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Trying to end the call as soon as possible, his social battery draining quickly.

"As it seems, bye Toms." Wil said, pressing the red "end call" button.

Tommy got up from his chair and retreated back to his bed, not bothering to turn his pc off.

Even after such a wonderful conversation he was once again, left in his bed left to drown in his own sorrow.

He was tired again but, he opened his phone and opened her contact. All he wanted was her back.

He was going to try again, how could he not? She's the only person he'd ever loved. For what may be the last time he left her a message.

"All I ask for is a second chance, to treat you how I should have. I know I don't deserve it because of how badly I hurt you, but my heart aches. Replaying everything in my mind. What I did, what I said. I wish I could take it all back. I know your hesitant but please, let me in again."

He pressed the send button only for it to have two blue ticks. Sighing, he turned his phone off.

His eyes slowly filled with hot tears. He wasn't the victim right? He must have treated her terribly, that's why she dumped him.

He rolls over, face now wet with tears and closes his eyes, hoping to never wake up.

And his delicate, tender, flower-like heart wilted, it's petals dancing woefully as the breeze from his window passed. Which wailed an empty, melancholy whistle as it passed. He was crushed, lifeless and loveless.