Before You Remember

chapter-1

Natalie

I was rooted in the same spot for the past two hours in the middle of the bridge. November cooled air makes my fingertips numb. The only sound echo in empty night was teeth chattering in my mouth but, what hurt the most was the emptiness in my chest.

The midnight air was frigid against my skin as I started in dark water. Ash-blonde hair blowing in my face, blocking my view. As I take a deep breath  icy air filled my lungs. I tighter my hold in row metal, with silent hesitation.

It was my fault. I deserve this darkness.

An icy wind blasted across my face when I take a step on bridge,  making my whole body shiver in cold.

I turn around to look at the end of the bridge where a woman in a deep red sweater and black boots was standing in dem light. She was staring at me form past hour . If I wasn’t looking like shit right now, then I might have thought she a creep.

Like me, she was remaining in the same spot to find out what was going to happen. In every few minutes she lit a cigarette but didn’t take a smoke, just throw it away when it burn.

Strange

I presume she was thinking I was an unstable woman who was going to suicide, but I didn’t blame her through if I was in her shoe, I would had the same thought in my mind too.

My unwashed hair was cut short from broken merrier. The hospital gown I wore had a stan all over it  because I was wearing it for the past two weeks. It has a big bloody stern on my stomach and small scars were covering my neck and my eye was bloodshot from the drug in my system.

I turn around to look at the dark-haired woman again, who was still watching me with a terrifying look in her eyes. I didn't want her to watch my death.

No one wants to remember death.

I don’t know why, but I didn’t want her to watch me die. That’s why I was freezing my ass off in cool and didn’t jump. Yet.

Her eyes give her away they look in deep pain. She doesn't look much young than me but she has that wise look in her eyes that defines she must grow early in her age.

My teeth were now chattering with alarm. I didn’t want to die from hypothermia. So I take a deep breath and step to another side. Loud footsteps echoed in my direction. She was running too fast for my liking. She held out her hand and run toward me.

Fuck, she knows.

I turn away from her, closed my eyes, and count to ten to calm myself. Her face flashed behind my closed eyes. She has that horrified look on her and I didn't want her to witness it. She knows knows what is going to happen next despite that she stay.

Acidic wind burst on my face when I launch myself to the other side of the bridge and forgot about my leg injury. White-hot pain traveled to my injured leg.

Fuck, I am going to die.

I brash myself on a metal rod, ignoring tears that flew freely from my eyes, I was breathing too fast. Surely I was going to faint. Jokes on me. My unconscious brain leads me to death.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you are doing” a deep husky voice yelled from behind.

“You can get yourself killed!!!”.

Her restless footsteps running toward me, and the clear pain in her voice, make me rethink my whole action. Maybe if I’ll wait a little more, she would leave.

Bright city light was blinding my eyes. My sister’s face flashed against my eyes and block all thoughts in my mind. Her beautiful smiling face asked me how was my day.

I deserve to die.

No stranger would jump on cooled water to save anyone. So I lose my footing on the bridge.

“For fuck's sake, STOP!” she yells from a respectable distance.

“I know you didn’t want to jump Natalie, believe me, I know”.

No, no no

She knows me.

I shook my head, feeling sorry for her. After everything, she was going to witness. Taking a sharp breath, I lost my death grip on the raw metal and jumped.

I was flying, flooding in the air, Chilly wind passing against my entire frame. I was free. It lifted a heavy burden from my shoulder. My lips curve upward in a genius smile since the first time I woke up alone in a hospital cubicle three months ago.

Gravity took me by surprise, and reality hit me, knocking me into concrete. My face was the first thing that contact a concrete wall. Razor-sharp pain traveled on my chest, and the air left my whole body.

When I gain a concussion again, my body was drowning in deep water, my heart was pounding against my ribcage, and the only sound I can hear was ringing in my ears.

Bright bridge lights made a dead shadow in the water and I was flooding into space. I was finally free from all the pain.

Sometimes heavily drops beside me in the water with a splash sound and a figure appears in faint lighting, forcing me to surface.

Fuck, no

Panic rose in me. I start swollen a month full of water in my lungs, holding pressure on my chest. My body was pleading to fight against the dark, but after a few moments, I surrender to the darkness.