The Struggle of Juggling Life: From Insecure To Finding My Self

Life Struggle's: Back Story

Life's interesting, at least for me it is. Not knowing what the day or the future holds. Holding on to past hurt. Building up walls or even breaking them done. Getting threw new barriers is what I want to do. Smiling, crying, laughing, and just being me. Saying that I made it not looking back at the past. That's what I want to do.

I bet your wondering who I am or what I'm talking about. We'll let me tell you. Hi, my name is Danielle and this is my life. Growing up was cool and great, at least when I was to blind and young to understand what really went on in my life or around me. When I finally was old enough to understand things that's when my life changed for the better and for the worst.

It all started off when I was around five. It was the first time I ever saw my mother get beat on by my brothers father. I knew that wasn't right so I didn't understand why he was doing it. It made my furious to see him do that to her, to know she never tried to get away, that's another thing I didn't understand. How can you continue to let someone do that to you. Why not call the police. Why not fight back. These where questions I felt like I shouldn't have to ask as a kid. It messed me up in life with trust and others factors as I grew up. It made me cautious and wary. It made me feel as if I could not trust people. It made me not to ever want to get into a relationship to where I couldn't get out if it was for my safety or my kids safety.

I wanted to fall in love like anyone else in this world, but from the things I experienced as a kid from the pain I was put in. I built up a wall that's so hard to tear back down falling in love seemed indefinite, it seemed to me that if I did I'd loose my self and that is something I never wanted to do.