As we walked home from church couldnt help but laugh. this was just funny. it was that sort of laughter were everything in life just piled in on you and you either had to laugh or you were gonna have a melt-down. and thus I laughed. but it truly was funny. a vampire dating a choir boy. how could I not see the irony in that? A "upholder of the lord" hitting on my sister, when if legends were true, he shouldve been sweeping her into an ash tray.
it hit me then that holy water was said in legends to set vampires on fire! water setting things on fire. once we got home my laughter died. now I had time to just go to my room and watch tv. and I hated commericials. some were funny, like the superbowl commercials, but some bored me out of my skull.
all commercials translate in my mind as something roughly like this. Ready?
"Hello there viewer wich I do not and never will care about! How are you today? Let me ask a hypothetical question, person I do not know, while I block your brain from the joy of watching actual television. do you have a sixth toe? well then fear not idividual citizen! tolon is here, brought to you by the makers of nipplex, and noseon. this medication will completely (not) remove said sixth digit from your freaky foot. all you need to do is perform the ritual of silence while dancing th danie of removal and eating grass under a full moon on a friday the 13th. see? not complicated at all. and we guarntee that this wal-mart bargain brand quality drug known scientifically as pseudomorphinoutriagiougelatin will (not) remove your sith toe. call now while this fake gimmick timer that means nothing counts down, and well give this product to you for free, after you pay 6 easy payments of $1000. in fact, if you call now well even halve you order and double the cost. well even add ridiculously high cost for s&h. thank for you time
*in microscopic flashing print that only appears for one millisecond*
warning this drug can and will cause, explosive bowl movements, implosive bowl movements, explosive diarrhea, anal leakage an oily discharge, and inevitably, death if one of these things happens do not call us. thank you for your time."
I seriously hate commercials
