Angie Yonaga's Ultimate fun Adventure! (spoilers, AU)

Please help me, Atua

Angie woke up in a dark room. "Atua, you there?" She thought to herself. "Yes, yes, I am here. You need to find out where you are, I know already!" Atua responded. Angie thought it was weird that Atua wouldn't tell her where she was if they knew, but decided not to question her lord and saviour. 

She put her hands around her and felt a cold, hard metal containing her. She could decipher that she was inside a locker of some sort and decided to push on the door. It opened a lot easier than expected and she fell face first onto the floor. "Owww..." she mumbled, feeling the bump on her nose. "Oh well. I am hurt now. Why not lay down here until I want to get up?" She decided to continue to lay down and let the floor claim her as it's own. She then fell asleep, dreaming of Atua.

34 hours later

Angie woke up again, realizing that she hadn't woken up for a while. "Must have taken a short nap."

She heard Atua's voice in her head, telling her to get up. She slowly moved her head upwards, then the rest of her body, one part at a time. When she fully woke up she noticed what was going on around her. There was a girl with blonde hair and pink eyes staring at her, a short person with bright red hair and a witch hat in the corner of the room, crying and curled into a ball; she had fallen over and just let it happen while she insanely sobbed, a cool looking guy with green hair trying to comfort her, an evil little man(Atua could sense his evil inside) who looked like he just had grape juice poured on his hair arguing with a girl who was much taller than him and wearing a steampunk outfit, and a girl with blue hair who was completely unfazed by the cacophony that went on around her and she was just looking at the ceiling through her glasses.

"Oh, you're up!" The girl who had been watching her said. "I hope you are feeling ok. You're pretty cute! Anyways, there are a lot of people here who don't know why, but we have suspected that we were kidnapped for our ultimate talents, because we all have that in common. Do you by any chance remember how you got here, or have an ultimate talent?" 

Angie could sense that she was kind at heart, and Atua could too. "Ah, yes! I am Angie Yonaga, the ultimate artist. Hmm... Atua says you are kind, Kaede." Angie said, smiling. "Oh, thank you!" Kaede said. "Uhh, thanks! Wait... did I tell you my name? Ah, must have said it and forgotten. Well, you should meet the others. They are very... interesting." "Ok! I'll do that." She said after checking with Atua.

She wanted to go over to the girl who looked like she was having a crisis. "Hello! Are you doing ok? Atua tells me something is wrong." The girl continued crying as her response. "Oh." The boy turned to Angie and was confused. "Atua?" "Yes, Atua. Our lord and saviour." "...oh, ok." The boy said, and tried to talk to the girl. "Could you tell me your name and talent please, so it makes this easier?" "*sniffles* O-ok. My name is Himiko Yumeno, and I'm the ultimate magician. At least, that's my official title. I'm really the ultimate maaage, nyeh." She slowed down her crying a bit. "Himiko Yumeno, huh? Atua can sense the magic in you!" Angie said, making a pose. "R- really? This Atua person seems cool." Himiko giggled. Angie smiled at that. "There is still hope for the next generation." She thought to herself. "Right, I should introduce myself. I am Angie Yonaga, ultimate artist. Atua is my real passion and inspiration." She said, holding a paintbrush, as that was one of her sprites. "Well, I'm Rantaro Amami, and I can't remember what my ultimate is at the time." The boy said. "Also, how did that paintbrush appear out of nowhere?" Angie left with no more words, and left the avocado wondering.

Angie decided not to talk to the rest of the people, but just listen. "Your opinion doesn't fucking count. You look like rip off Kermit humped a moldy, rotten, grape and somehow made a baby." "Shut up, you empty headed whore! How dare you disrespect me, a supreme leader!" "Supreme leader? More like supreme toddler." The insults between them went back and forth for a while. "Hey, four eyes! What's your opinion on this?" The girl turned to the person who was zoned out, staring at the ceiling. The person didn't respond. "She probably just doesn't want to talk to an ugly pig such as yourself." The grape man said, and laughed. "No, that's not the truth." She said. "I just don't have an opinion on it, nor do I really care. I'm actually pretty plain. My name is Tsumugi Shirogane, the ultimate cosplayer." Grape guy smiled and said, "So your ultimate is basically lying?" "No, that's not-" 

(Sorry just had to take the time to write here that my battery is 69 percent 😏)

"Hey you!" Pink punkie said, turning to the Atua simp. "Who do you think is hotter, me or the little shit over there?" "Hmmm... let me see what Atua thinks. Oh! It's definitely, by a landslide..."

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"... the girl." (kokichi will remember that *that one scary sprite of him intensifies*) "Yes!" She said, putting her fist in the air. "Not only do I have a golden brain, but gorgeous looks! I'm Miu Iruma, ultimate inventor. Please put your finger-" (I decided to block out the rest of that sentence. You're welcome.) "... Atua says no." "Aww!" Miu sighed. Kokichi glared at them. "Well, whatever this Atua says is wrong. And, I'm actually the supreme leader of an organization with eleven thousand and thirty seven members. So what you think doesn't matter. I'm Kokichi Ouma, ultimate supreme leader!" Tsumugi looked at him. "It is easy to tell that you are lying." "Well, liars can sense other liars. So what that means is that you lie." "No, not necessarily. You could be lying right now. Or are you?" 

Angie slammed a bible into Kokichi's face. "Read this. You obviously need help. I can sense your evil essence."

Everything settled down for now. Kokichi and Miu stopped fighting, and Himiko calmed down. Now, how were they supposed to get out?

Angie knew what had to be done. She put her hands together over her head and prayed to Atua. "Lend me your strength!" She said aloud. Then, she started glowing. "NYAHAHAHA!" SHE DID A NICE 360 AND TURNED HER HANDS AND HEAD SO HER WHOLE BODY WOULD BE A 90 DEGREE ANGLE BUT SHE WAS STILL STANDING, AND RAN, FINGERTIPS FIRST INTO THE DOOR. IT EXPLODED, HITTING KOKICHI IN THE HEAD.

"Let's get out, shall we?" She said, cheery as ever.

They were about to meet new faces, scary faces, because faces are scary and scary is bad and eyes are very scary and no I'm not Shuichi but eyes really scare me and I have to look away and faces are weird aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sorry

Everybody decided to walk out the room, not knowing that there was a door at the beginning and it was open but nobody saw or tried it, but they didn't say anything because they would be embarrassed by their own idiocy.

Miu turned to Angie. "I owe you one! Trust me, I will do anything you want! Even lewd-"

"JOIN MY CULT!"

And that was how Angie successfully got the first person into her cult.