A narcissist's healing.

For L

What is this all for? Why do i read books, why do i socialize why do i get the need to have friends? It's all for one cause; to get rid of the emptiness
We were put here for what? To instill business but all afloat with no direction at the eternal oblivion called life.

The emptiness is maddening, it makes delusions to shield itself from trauma. You'd think he'll come back to you one day. If you try consistenly for 6 months stalking, trying to find where he lives just the outreach eventually of course he will come back wouldn't he? He'd always come back. Always.

Now it's not the case. In loving people we tend to get attached because of good momments. The oxytocin rush holding his hand, feeling his hair, kissing him and loving him and and but there's a trick. Deprive him of it until he forces it out of you, you become a victim.

A victim can ruin his abuser's life and his reputation is the most vital thing you can attack since of course, it sometimes lead to solitude. Humans are however very social creatures. The thought of solitude means the thought of death within the conciousness of a human being and an abuser will be scared of thus, you have your fist gripped around his neck.

He can never escape you. Ever. Never. In my case, i've deprived for too long now he lost interest. I believe the maximum time this will work is within the confines of 2 weeks. Although, i do not do this to harm you luwi I do this because i want you to stay. For eternity, and ever.

Although keeping it with a lock and some chains, it's stronger than a red thread, What normal couples use. Easily just detangling themselves from one another or forcibly tugging it for it to break. With chains you are my prisoner, for the end of time. I may have kept the lock within your reach and now you escaping my grasp.

I realized this wasn't healthy. I realized not having arguements everyday was not healthy. Within the wrinkles in my brain there's a cultivated thought that he's going to love you more if you give him hate and then love 10% of the time.

A carved madness. Luis, this is the only thing i've ever known. I'm so afraid, i'd never thought you'd actually leave me. I'm so afraid of waking up everyday and not receive a topic of discussion first thing in the morning. It's all my fault. I wanted you back more than ever. No more desolate chains in a melancholy chamber of my love,
I want us to be healthier.

I want us to be happier. Emptiness, emptiness before you came and even more emptiness once you've gone away. I have concluded that, even if each and everybody were intertwined, a stubborn feeling of dread lingers. Within the confines of my own mind, within the confines of our relationship there's still lingering emptiness like something is missing and it's purchasing extreme amounts of dread in a store of emotions. There are no missing parts of me, there is no me in the first place. Only you.