Warning: This story contains mentions of suicidal ideations, blood, murder, jail, knives, depressive thoughts, and cussing.
California, carrying the toaster: I'm gonna go take a bath.
Texas: *Doesn't know whether to panic or go watch his boyfriend take a bath*
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Connecticut: I told Mass his ears flush when he lies.
New York: Why?
Connecticut: Watch. Hey Mass, do you love us?
Massachusetts, covering his ears: No.
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Massachusetts: I was gonna donate blood today but they ask too many damn questions, like 'Who's blood is that?' 'Where did you get it?' and other stupid shit like that.
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Florida: Do you think I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Gov: You're a hazard to society.
Louisiana: And a coward. Do 20!
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*The Northeastern brothers sitting in jail*
New York: So who should we call?
Connecticut: Minnie?
Massachusetts: He'll never get here. Penny?
New York: And have him hanging this over our heads? Nah. How 'bout Maryland?
Massachusetts: It's safer here.
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Pennsylvania: Why do watch so much murder stuff?
Massachusetts: Incase you slip up.
Pennsylvania: *Slowly moves away from Mass*
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Mass: Are you nervous?
Maryland: Yeah.
Mass: First time?
Maryland: No, I've been nervous before.
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Pennsylvania: Are you mad?
Massachusetts: No.
Pennsylvania: So sharpening knives at 2 in the morning just a hobby than?
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California: What are good responses to getting stabbed?
Louisiana: Dats fair.
New York: Rude.
Texas: Not again.
Florida: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
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Texas: Have you ever done something for 100 days or more?
California: Yeah I have actually. I've been doing it for 172 years. It's called being a fucking disappointment.
Texas: . . .
Gov: . . .
Florida: . . .
Louisiana: . . .
New York: ... You okay bud?
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Gov: I should have left you in that box where I found you.
Florida: Butcha' didn't!
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Florida, walking into the house bleeding badly: Please get me to a hospital. If anyone needs to know, my blood type is red.
Florida: *collapses onto the floor*
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Florida: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak.
Louisiana: Strong.
Texas: Weak.
California: Your a dumbass.
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Oklahoma, tied up hanging upside down: SIRI! Call 911!
Texas: *Has a bat*
Siri: Starting live video.
Oklahoma: NO-!
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California: Someone stole my antidepressants! Whoever you are, I hope your fucking happy.
Florida: *Eating what he thought was Tic-Tac's*
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New York: Reasons to not interact with other people.
New York: Number one. Time is money and people waste both.
New York: Two. Small talk sucks the life out of me and should be classified as a vampiric ritual.
New York: Three. All of the world's problems are because someone existed.
New York: Four. There's an "I" in social and "I want to go home."
New York: And five. A stranger is an enemy. A friend is a betrayal waiting to happen.
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New York being a mood as usual. Hope you liked reading and thanks everyone for the support <3
~ Author
YOU ARE READING
Statehouse Stuff ig
RandomNone of the characters featured are mine, they all belong to Ben Brainard! Read the author's note before reading or requesting! You can request of course and I'll try to comply to the best of my ability. Happy reading <3333
