Helen McCrory one shots

That should be all that mattered - Narcissa Black

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⚠️Slight TW??⚠️ - Not sure if it's really needed.
(Short mildly graphic description of an injury, not one anybody actually obtains though) —————————————————————————

Jealousy was a strange and cruel creature, you felt it in every fibre of your being. You should be happy knowing that she was happy, after she had been in pain for so long it shouldn't matter that somebody else was the reason and not you. It shouldn't matter at all.

But it did, it did matter.

Some pathetic and twisted part of you fought your better knowledge, it refused to sit by and watch the way that Narcissa smiled at the other witch as they danced, refused to allow you to be the good friend you tried so hard to be.
It made your eyes sting like a thousand hexes, made your ears fill with angered anguished screams that came not from your surroundings but from within your own head.
It made the way the other witch made your friend breathlessly chuckle feel like the embers of a fire had been poured down the back of your cloak, singeing the skin and burning the nerve endings through the charred flesh.
It made the way Narcissa's hand moved to pull the other witch closer to her as the song changed from a fast and upbeat tempo that called for a loose handed dance to a more subdued slow melody that called for a sway feel like you had been struck with the cruciatus curse.

You sat in your chair in the corner of the room as the newly wed couple spun each other around the dance floor, you watched as they smiled at each other with eyes gleaming of adoration for one another.

It was your fault you felt this way, it was your fault jealousy had crawled from the depth of its cave and made its home in your heart.

You had more or less pushed Adeline and Narcissa together after all, you just hadn't expected it to feel this way.

You'd wanted Narcissa to be happy, wanted her to be loved and cared for like she so rightfully deserved.
she'd spent her childhood in a cruel and abusive home, her teens years trying to be somebody she wasn't, her early adult years in a loveless marriage where she feared for her life within her home and when the war finally ended and she managed to make a life of her own she spent her days believing she was worthless and had deserved everything she went through.
It was a cruel conundrum trying to show Narcissa how brilliant she truly was, how she deserved to be happy when the only people that stuck by her after the war were her son Draco, her sister Andy and you, her closest friend.

Adeline had been the key, a young witch who knew very little of Narcissa's life aside from what was written in the prophet. Who knew only the malicious lies fed to her by the press yet still showed a genuine interest in getting to know her when you introduced her to Narcissa.

Adeline had been your colleague in the ministry, a kind witch who got the job done; which is more than you could say for the rest of the people working within your department.
You'd become somewhat friends with the red headed witch and it was obvious her enormous 'crush' on Narcissa from the few times she'd met her when you'd hosted dinners for all of your friends at your home.

You hadn't been aware at the time you were pushing the two together that you were quite frankly in love with your closest friend yourself. Hadn't noticed it in fact until Narcissa had excitedly exclaimed to you one evening that Adeline had asked her out on a date.

That was two years ago and now you sat alone at your table on your fifth goblet of wine in a state of despair.

You should be happy you reminded yourself.
Narcissa was happy, that should be all that mattered.

It should be but it wasn't.

You rose from your seat and made your way outside to the balcony that framed the banquet hall. The chilly night air caused you to shiver as you leant against the railing taking in the scenery below. Your eyes begun to water but you wouldn't let the tears fall, you couldn't, it wasn't fair to weep on such a joyous day for your closest friend, such a joyous day for your red headed friend Adeline as well you reminded yourself.
It wasn't fair so you wouldn't, not until you got home, where you could be alone and no-one would see as the tears streamed down your face in torrents, where no-one would hear the pathetic wails you'd surely let out, where no-one would know that you were not how you appeared, not a kind and loving friend but a fraud, a selfish and cruel thing. For you knew that jealous hadn't just made a home within your heart it had also become one with you, where the lines between you and it had blurred, you could no longer look in the mirror and distinguish yourself from it.