mad at myself (rhink)

stay with me

I feel slightly light-headed as we play video games sitting on Links couch. I've only had 2 drinks. I really can't handle alcohol.

Link and I are really close right now and from time to time we touch each other. That feels electrifying, like we're supposed to touch each other and meant to be with each other.

Still I can't help but feel bad for Jessie. I'm not cheating on her (yet), but I'm also not playing a fair game. I have feelings for Link. It feels weird to admit that, maybe this is just the alcohol speaking and I don't have feelings for Link but that's not the point.

I wake up from my thoughts as Link comes even closer to me, making it hard to breath for me. Without realizing I suddenly hear my voice say: "come sit on my lap."

Link looks at me and says: "you sure?"

"Yeah. I want you close to me."

Link smiles happily and climbs in my lap. I put my arms around him and rest my head on his hair. Link cuddles up against me and put his head on my chest. I can't imagine being anywhere else. I can't imagine being anywhere else but here.

What is that smell? Where am I? What is that heavy thing on my lap?

The memories of last night suddenly hit me. Link.

I smell Link. I'm with Link. Link's on my lap.

Link.

I put my arms closer around his warm body, careful not to wake him.

Links body so close to mine feels so strangely good, it feels weird to think like that but I let myself for once. His breathing is comforting. His hair smells good. His body is warm. I want to stay in this position for ever.

Way too soon I hear Link waking up.

"Good morning buddy", I whisper.

"Sssssshhhhhh. A few more seconds." Link says with a morning voice.

God, he's so cute. Link cuddles even closer then we already are. I don't mind. I like Link close to me. I can smell his scent so strongly right now. His breathing is the only thing I want to hear, except for his voice.

"I want to stay like this forever" Link mumbles in my shirt.

"Me too, but we can't", I whisper

"Why not?"

"Because..." I can't really think of any good reason. "We're married, but not with each other."

"But our wives are not here right now. Are they?"

So that's how 'things' start.

"No they're not." I whisper. "But let's have breakfast!"

Age 16

"Why are you so close to Link? He's not that special." Randy asks

"We're best friends. We've been best friends for 6 years", I answer.

"You know that you can only stay friends for 7 years, right?"

"Why?"

"That's how long friendship lasts. Love does last longer", Randy says with a mean smile.

"We're not in love! We're just friends" That wasn't a lie but also not the truth. We've been 'fooling around' for a couple of years now, but we're not together. Maybe we should stop it, people are starting to notice.