To Love or To Destroy [TWILIGHT]

Denial

[Disclaimer: I do not own any of Stephenie Meyer's characters. My only original character is Selene Rossi.]

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They say there are five main stages of grief. The first being denial, the second being anger, third to be bargaining, fourth to be depression, and the last—acceptance.

Acceptance is not something I have been able to feel in a long time. At first, I was in pure and utter denial. When I first heard that Riley was gone—gone, my first thought was that it couldn't be true. He couldn't be gone. He was my best friend—he's been my closest companion for as long as I could remember.

The last time I saw him was nothing special. I certainly did not think it would be the last. We had just finished watching a movie in the cinemas, and walked out with our hands filled with popcorn. We playfully threw them at each other, as was our customary tradition and banter whenever we watched a movie.

I remember talking about the upcoming dance at our school, and how I described the gown I had just purchased—all while Riley patiently listened with a soft smile on his face.

I bid him goodbye, saying that we would meet tomorrow in the library to get an early start on homework. Before we went our separate ways, something pulled at me to give him a hug. I wrapped my arms around his torso and inhaled that familiar scent of bergamot and cinnamon. I never knew that would be the last time I would hug him.

I'd been replaying that scene in my head almost every waking moment, clinging on to it as if it might disappear and take his memory away with it.

My parents and friends all noticed my immediate detachment to everyone around me. My friends—Mia, Catalina, and Sebastian all tried inviting me out, to take my mind off of things. Dozens upon dozens of their texts pestered me to go out with them for a "fun night out." But nothing would be the same without Riley.

My parents also felt pity for me, I could see it in their quick and piteous glances toward me as I slugged through the days without so much as a smile. The days passed and my parents had had enough. "Selene, could you sit down for a moment? We'd like to talk to you about something," my mom said when she saw me come down to get some water.

I sighed, fully knowing what this was going to be about as I slowly took a seat on one of our dinner table's white wooden chairs. I kept my eyes fixed on the glass vase in the middle of the table, which housed a bouquet of delicate lilacs. My mother let out a cough, as if to clear the tension. She gave me a forced smile as she said, "Selene, I know it's been.. hard for you. But, your friends and I are worried. You haven't been out in weeks, haven't talked to anyone. Catalina's mother suggested you go.. talk to someone about how you feel."

I couldn't even muster up enough anger to respond. I knew her and my dad have been subtly edging me to seek out a therapist. It was common, of course, there was nothing wrong about going to therapy. Although, I didn't feel as though they could fix how I felt. I felt as though nothing and no-one could really make me feel better, aside from Riley—but he was gone. Absolutely and irrevocably gone.

Days passed and I still felt hollow. I was beginning to embody something of a tin can. I would still do the things I was required to, such as homework and taking care of myself. But I did all this, feeling like all the life had been drained out of me.

It had now been exactly 2 weeks since Riley's disappearance. When I woke up that morning, I felt something like.. determination and anger. I was angry that Riley was taken from me. I was angry that we didn't even get to say goodbye. I then decided that I would get him back. My parents would probably think I was delusional, searching for something of a ghost. But I didn't believe he was truly gone. I just needed to get him back.

I quickly dressed in a navy satin v-neck tee and skinny flare jeans. I wore the golden heart locket Riley had given me for my birthday last year and speedily brushed my dark red hair. "Mom! Dad! I'm going out!" I said as I speed-walked to the door, mainly to avoid prompting and questions.

"Selene! Where are you heading off to?" My dad asked, surprise written all over his face.

"Uh- I'm going out with Mia and Catalina." I felt bad for lying but I knew they'd never approve me going out to search for Riley. They'd think I was delusional.

"Oh, that's very nice, Selene. Be safe, we love you." I gave my dad a quick hug and hopped into the matte black car my parents had given me a few months back for my 18th birthday.

I decided to visit the last place Riley was seen, near the fishing port. The sun was starting to go down and I clutched my pepper spray, just in case. The ground was still wet from the rainfall yesterday and I walked slowly, being careful not to slip. I made sure to pay attention to little details, just in case anything could lead me to Riley.

Suddenly, I heard shouting. I quickly hid behind a stone wall and held my breath as I saw a woman, about 25 years old, with short brown hair point a gun to a younger boy, about 16. "I know you stole my bracelet! Give it back or else.." The woman snarled, baring her teeth.

"I promise! I didn't take it!" The boy whimpered, clutching onto his raggedy shirt, littered with holes.

"Liar! I know you took it, you dirty little thief!" The woman was getting impatient now, taking a step toward him.

"I didn't take it, I said!" The boy yelled, as he spotted a tiny exit next to the woman and made a run for it. I gasped as the woman's face contorted into rage and aimed her weapon towards the boy. In a fit of potential foolishness, I tried to grab the boy's arm to get him to safety when a sickeningly loud pop sounded in the air.

I started to feel woozy, as a warm feeling in my stomach spread throughout my body. I slumped to the ground, breathing heavily as I looked down to see a blood-red spot staining my shirt.

The last thing I remember was a blonde haired man with pale skin and kind amber eyes carried me into his arms and whispered, "You're going to be alright," as I passed out.