my life so far

my life

My dad has always been a drinker. One night before I was born my dad and mom got in a fight. The next day my mom kicked my dad out of the house. So I never really had a good relationship with him. Later on when I was 10 my older sister Dee really got into cutting. One night when I came home from dance she was gone. The police found her in the woods cutting. They bright her back home. About 2days later she was sent to a mental hospital. When she got out she was a little better. Life became good for a while. When I was in 5th grade a of shit about me went around it didn't really bug me. Till this one kid came up to me and told me I was fat (I was under wright). But I believe him so I started to starve myself. About 2 mouths p on and off eating I realized what I was doing was wrong I began to eat a little again. Life was getting way better. And then Dee fell in "love" with a guy and they had a kid neither one of them where ready. Dees bf would abuse my sister and their kid but she did not leave him. Until she found out he was cheating on her. My sister told me this was all my fault.. I believed it and that was the first time I cut. I told myself never again. I didn't do it for a long time. Anyways coming to 7th grde I made a mistake and told some of my frimds life secrets I lost her for a while I felt a lone... I now I told myself never again but I cut again. Later on that year she forgave me and she became my friend. About 3 mouths later my whole life fell apart I was getting told to kill myself, to cut, to give up. I really could not take it I attempted an overdose. I was put in the hospital for a while. I lost a lot of friends because of me trying to kill myself. But my one friend Alley stayed. She has been here from the beginning. Right now where I am. I fell lost like everyone around me is watching me suffer and no one cares to help. Like everything that has happen to me is pushing me over the edge. Like I'm alive but I'm not. I still struggle with my apperance. But idk. I know life gets better I guess I just have to hold on and wait for the light to come.