Book for my feelings

Chapter 5: love

Dreams mean something, right? Whether it means you forgot to do something or your very own feelings- they all mean something. Let me paint you a picture: magic , a school like hog warts but more finished and modern, although it's covered in dust and constantly hated by the students... it's still a school, and this school doesn't specialize in anything . It's almost like it's there for looks , or even just a crappy hang out spot for no one in particular. But it's our hang out spot, and it's just for the two of us - no matter how many people are there with us.

Love. Is that what this is? It's sickening it's so sweet- so sappy it could give me cavities and I hate the way it makes me feel , but I can't put it down . I'm addicted like I've never had it before and now I can't stop. No matter the cost or the twist in my stomach when I think of you , I still keep it like I need it to survive. You feel the same way too , right? In this particular story , you and I ( and a handful of friends) are in this school when we learn about something so rare and so extraordinary that we can't even think straight. We learn that you and I are destined to be together forever . Till the end of days . I was ... ecstatic , I was so happy and frilly when I heard about it that I ignored the pit in my heart. I was practically glued to you from then on , if there weren't enough chairs to sit beside you - I would just sit on the floor and hold your hand. I was so in love I was sick . My eyes were only to look at you and my hands were only to hold you in them, my mouth: to kiss you , my ears: to hear your voice, and on and on... I could only think of you , I was so clouded by the thought of you - that I forgot it wasn't real. I was practically worshiping you , and I couldn't stop . I don't want to stop.

Until I woke up.

I wanted to cry in that moment , to wake up and not see you or feel you in my arms— it was infuriating and odd. I wanted to scream for you , call your name or laugh at my own stupidity. A fool in love is what I am , and such a fool I will be if I don't stop. And I won't stop, not until you aren't with me. But I did none of those things, I didn't scream , I didn't cry , and I definitely didn't stop loving you. I just got up, and texted you:

Good morning 💙

...
And I am so so so honored to have you, to hold you, and to see you in every way I can. Nothing can stop that.

Not even a dream💙
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Happy pride month🏳️‍🌈 this is a sad little special, but it's here .