KISS. j. jungkook.

seven | deserve

taehyung slumps his gym bag over his shoulder as he slowly mopes out of the locker room. he felt extreme disturbance and worry for what the future will hold after the shit show of a soccer game had finally ended.

his luck, his girlfriend, zariah was standing outside waiting for him with a similar expression of distress upon her face as well. their friends, valerie and geneva standing five feet behind her, watching taehyung's every step as if they were waiting for something to happen. this should be fun.

"hi lovebug, sorry about your game" zariah pouted
"i'll live, i'm sure it was just a fluke, you know?" taehyung assured
"of course baby, you're still number one" ri said getting on her tippy toes to ruffle his hair
"but um..i was wondering if we could talk about..what happened before the game?"

"what's that" "about..the kissing thing" taehyung sighed in response
"i don't know how to ask this..are you..embarrassed of me?" zariah released
taehyung looked behind them to see their friends walking back in the direction of their dorms
"did they tell you to ask me that? have they been getting in your head?" taehyung questioned

"i mean..what does it matter? i still want to know the answer. it's been a good three months and you haven't kissed me, i know this is my first serious relationship so i could be wrong but wouldn't it be normal to be kissing by now? or maybe, maybe you just don't take us as seriously as i do" zariah huffed

"okay..what? where is this coming from like? of course i take us seriously ri, you know i care for you" taehyung said clasping her hand with his
"i just can't tell sometimes, maybe you just aren't ready but, is there a reason you haven't kissed me taehyung? is it something wrong with me?" zariah asked holding back tears
"baby, honestly it's not, you know, i thought maybe i should ease into it, give you some time, but today, when you asked me to kiss you in front of everybody i thought maybe it's me, maybe i'm not ready to be publicly displaying a relationship. maybe i'm not ready for a serious relationship and that's why i've been moving so slow."

"what are you saying, taehyung?" zariah asked praying she was misunderstanding
"i'm saying, i think that i'm so caught up with my classes and soccer and everything, that maybe i'm not ready to be serious. im saying that maybe, you deserve better than me" taehyung blurted
"are you breaking up with me right now taehyung?" riah said removing themself from his grip
"im sorry ri, i need to focus on my future, on my passions"
"and im not apart of either of those?" riah scoffed, nodding their head in understanding

"i really like you ri, im sorry"
"i knew this was too good to be true" ri said rolling her eyes sarcastically and crossing her arms
"i'm pining over you for months and you just conveniently confess that it's reciprocated because we were 'accidentally' stuck in a room together. never letting my friends meddle my life ever again." zariah huffs
"well, goodnight" riah says turning and walking off
"i can walk you to your dorm?" taehyung suggests, causing ri to stop in her tracks
"i'll pass" riah answers before continuing to walk away

taehyung watched every step she took until they were out of his sight and he turned around to head home to his own dorm. he almost instantly regretted what he had just done. he'd just been a shitty person the entire day. he thought about what jungkook had said earlier. taehyung was a shitty boyfriend to zariah and she did deserve someone better. hell, maybe it could even be jungkook himself since he's suddenly showing such interest in her! though, taehyung knew that would make his blood boil over.

he knew it was wrong to be jealous because he knows how shitty he's been, but the thought of jungkook actually succeeding in gaining zariah's love was making him hot and nauseated. maybe he just needed some time to get his shit together and maybe he could find a way to get her back. the fact he was already trying to figure out how to get her back felt pathetic. but he knew he was an idiot the past three months.

because zariah was the sweetest most endearing person he'd ever met. her skin was soft and she smelled of vanilla every time he touched her. her voice was soothing and the sound of her laugh was like music to his ears. what had he done? he's a fucking idiot. what had he done?

maybe, he'd done this because he was scared she'd leave him first. in his head, he convinced himself he didn't deserve to be with her from the start. didn't deserve to hold her, to kiss her, to even speak to her. and now he knows he didn't.