Leigh finished a worksheet sent by Mr. Chestnut. She had come back from work about an hour ago.
Marcy sat in the bed across from hers. They were in a hotel room. "All done?"
Leigh-Anne placed her books in her suitcase towards the side of the bed. "Yeah." She said softly.
Marcy did not like how withdrawn she had become. The girl had barely looked her in the eye since she came here. "Hey," she got up.
Leigh had her laptop set up to watch some movies. Nemo and the rest of the O-gang were on her bed. She moved back to sit in front of her pillow, getting Nemo into her lap after doing so.
Marcy sat next to her. "If there's anything on your mind you can talk to me."
Leigh-Anne opened her Netflix. "I know I can talk to you." She mumbled.
Marcy was heartbroken over here. "But you haven't been. Are you just extra tired or is it something else? Rachel says you're ashamed. You don't have to be. Sometimes things happen and we lose our way. I'm just glad we could stop it before it got worse. Any addiction can spiral into a life-threatening issue if not monitored properly." She rubbed the girl's thigh.
Leigh-Anne said 'I know' in the same soft tone.
Marcy scooted closer. "What's on your mind Leigh? Last week you had symptoms of psychosis but you didn't want to talk to Dr. Jung during your session. Is it all just shame? I get it. It's awkward to talk about but if you don't then we can't help you."
Leigh held her face.
Marcy pouted. "It's just awkward? That's all that's keeping you silent?"
"Not only that." Leigh-Anne said.
"Because you're still having withdrawal symptoms? Hey you've been clean for quite a few days now. That should make you happy. I know how hard this is."
Leigh shook her head.
"That's not the other problem? Are you also embarrassed because some people saw you having psychosis? Don't worry. They'll forget about it soon." Marcy was made aware of the D's Angels 'hate train' by Rachel. Every model was getting their fair share of ridicule but the thing she had seen of Leigh had hurt her the most. How was it okay for people to make fun of her illness? Leigh hasn't seen it. They were trying to keep it that way.
"Well that and . . . I just feel bad." Leigh-Anne saw Perrie in her mind. "I used her."
Marcy knew what she meant. "Addictions can bring out the worst in us."
"It just shows I'm not good for her. She loves me so much because she's not well and I just went and . . . that's awful. I feel disgusted with myself." Leigh-Anne's voice barely left her throat.
Marcy pulled her in. "Don't worry. You can apologize and vow to be better."
Leigh wiped some tears from her eyes. "Even after all of that I'm so nasty that I still want to . . . use her. I dream about it and I think and my body gets crazy and . . . I'm so horrible. I don't trust myself. Why am I like this?"
Marcy had never had a conversation of this nature with anyone before. She rubbed Leigh's arm after separating from her. "I think it's just a product of your trauma. This isn't actually who you are. I mean yeah, people explore, they try new things and it's okay that you had that attraction and that you got intimate with someone you trusted but to do that several times throughout the day. . ." She sighed. "I think you saw something you genuinely enjoyed and just clung onto it. It satisfied part of you didn't it? Made you feel a little less hurt deep down?"
Leigh-Anne said a faint 'yes'.
"See? So you snatched it and went overboard but we'll work on that." Marcy moved some of Leigh's braids.
