The Heartthrob That Can't Walk

Chapter 37

“Shane, I want to tell you something. I know you already had enough because of the scene earlier but I still want to tell you this.”

Nilingon niya ako habang naka upo sa kaniyang kama. “Ano ‘yon? Sabihin mo lang.” she smiled.

I’m sorry but I’ll bring that memory back, right at this moment.

“Brian is dead.” I started.

Her eyes widen, “h-ha?”

“He’s already dead. He commit suicide in jail…” I said looking at her carefully.

“Pa’no? Nakulong siya?” naguguluhang tanong niya.

“Yes…” I sighed, “I chase him…make him pay, but he choose to end his life. I’m sorry.”

Tumulo ang luha sa mata niya. Halatang hindi maka paniwala sa mga salitang binitawan ko. She look terrified.

“Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi?” she asked.

“I know, I’m really sorry. I…I don’t have enough courage to say it because it might get your sleeping habits rough. And…I don’t really know. I just cant say it immediately.” I sincerely apologized.

The tears of her were nonstop. It’s not like I would stop it though. It’s hard seeing her cry. But I know she needed to. And if it will help her ease the pain I can bare to watch her.

I pull her into a tight hug. She cried more. It’s louder this time. I gulped; I don’t want to cry too. I’m strong, for her I will be. Bagay na hindi ko nagawa noon. Bagay na...gusto kong magawa pero naduwag ako. For the past years, everyday I pray for her forgiveness.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko noon kung bakit lahat sinisi ko sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko siya iniwan kung kailan kailangan niya ako. Siguro sobrang gulo ng utak ko…sobrang gulo na gusto ko nalang matulog at huwag nang gumising.

But I guess I’m really lucky. God always show me the way. Even though I close my door for those who want to help me. I learned to open it not just for myself but also for them.

Leaving the problem behind won’t solve anything. It’ll only chase you when you thought you already have peace.

“Shh…it’s fine now and I won’t ever leave you again.” I said with shaking voice.

Humigpit ang yakap niya tila ayaw na bumitaw. Inalalayan ko siya patungong kotse. Wala naman siyang kahit anong angal.

Imbis na sa apartment niya ay sa condo ko siya dinala. Feeling ko mas makakatulog siya rito ng maayos. Nang makaratinh kami ay tahimik lang siya. Hinatid ko siya sa kwarto ko.

“Ayos lang ba na rito ako? Baka may gagawin kang trabaho e.” she asked a little bit shy.

I smile at her, “it’s fine. Besides everything I have to do for today is in my laptop. No worries, just rest, I’ll be here around.”

I saw relief in her eyes. She remove her shoes and lie down. When she close her eyes I knew how bad she want to sleep. Inayos ko ang comforter sa kaniya. Shit napalitan ko na ba yung sapin?

I suddenly felt that I need to clean so I went on the  living room. I saw trash, like empty cup noodle, bits of popcorn and many more. Kailan ko ng huli tong pinalinisan?

Kahit sa lababo hinugsan ko lahat ng hugasin. Halos makalahati ko na yung dishwashing. After that I went to the sofa. It’s tiring.

Pumikit ako ng mariin nang maalala ang laundry basket. I’ll do that tomorrow. Tumunog ang telepono ko kaya agad ko itong sinagot.

“Yes?”

“Hey, I already email to you our finance report. And also, your sched for tomorrow.” It’s freaking Fina.

“I never told you to do that thing. Just stop it already.” I said with a tired tone.

“You’ll need me. Just accept it. Besides hindi ko na papalakihan ang sahod—” hindi ko na siya pinatapos at binabaan nalang.

Tang’na.

Pumasok ako sa kwarto para tabihan siya. I silently apologize to her because I haven’t taken a bath. Hindi talaga dapat minamaliit ang kasambahay. Kaunti palang ginagawa ko pagod na’ko.

Nagising ako dahil sa ring ng telepono. Bwiset naman, ang aga aga tatawag. Bigla akong na pa upo dahil wala si Shane sa tabi ko.

“What?” sagot ko sa tawag.

“Nakita ko na, may nawawala talagang pera dyan. Pero hindi ko pa alam kung saan na pupunta. Malalaman din ‘yon dahil mag memeeting ang board. Marami na rin ang nag tataka sa binababa ng sales.” It’s oldie.

“Great, thanks.” I said still looking around.

“Anong great? Matutulog na’ko! Bahala ka dyan kumpanya mo ‘yan hinayupak ka.” Pagalit niya.

I laughed at him, “I know, sorry. Thanks.  Love you!”

“Gago!” binabaan niya ako.

Tingnan mo tong matandang ‘to.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at agad kong naamoy ang toasted bread. She cook? I thought she just go out to freshen up.

“Gising ka na pala. Gumawa ako ng chicken sandwitch.” She said pertaining to the food on the table.

Umawang ang labi ko. It look so good! And her…she looks cute with my shirt. Umupo ako sa harap niya.

“Sorry naka tulog ako. Ako dapat mag luluto ng almusal.” Napa kamot ako ng ulo. Kahit hindi marunong mag luto.

“Ayos lang, maaga talaga ako magising. Tsaka…ano gusto kita gawan ng pagkain.” She laughs a little. Her eyes are back again. I always imagine those when I’m away.

“Thank you. But…how about work?”

Binigay niya sakin ang isang sandwitch, “wala, sarado kami ngayon. Dahil siguro sa nangyari kahapon.” she explained.

I was busy eating and so is she. But the thing is I’m so hype while eating it. I miss her dishes. I want to eat more. Fuck, it feels like I’m goanna cry, I never ate like this since I left.

“You should eat too, ang payat mo na.” sabi ko habang naka tingin sa kaniya.

“Kumakain naman ako, tsaka mabislis lang kasi ako mabusog. Kain ka pa, meron pa isa oh, sayo ‘yan dalawa.” Binigay niya pa sakin ang isa.

“No, hati tayo. Ubusin mo yang hawak mo tapos eto.” Pag tutol ko.

Kumunot ang noo niya, “huh? Hindi ko kayang ubusin!”

“Psh kaya mo yan, I’ll help you.” Sambit ko na puno ang bibig kaya natawa siya.

The atmosphere feel so light. Unlike before that we both don’t know how to bring back the old times because of what happened. Now I think it’s a new start. And I learned my lesson well. I won’t leave the woman who never gets tired of me.

-_-