Love everlasting - Avengers fanfic

I hate myself

You wipe away you tears quickly, looking up to see Steve standing with a smile on his lips. God he looks amazing.

"I'm perfectly fine Captain thank you" you say firmly, resting your head against the door.

"You don't look fine" Steve says softly. He sits down beside you, wrapping his arm around you. You hesitate for a moment before leaning onto his shoulder. He even smells amazing, this isn't fair. "What's on your mind?"

"I just think I made a mistake.. I shouldn't have moved in here" you explain, Steve looks intensely at you. "I hoped everything would go back to normal, that somehow I could just keep pretending everything's fine.." you add. As you look into his eyes. "But it's not fine.. everything's so far from fine"

Steve gently wiped away your tears, you let yourself be completely consumed by his touch. "Have you ever though about doin something selfish for once?" Steve questions.

"What do you mean?" You ask confused. You feel like everything you've done lately has been selfish.

"When I met you back then you spend your every waken hour trying to fix other people's messes, helping me.." Steve shares. "Now 70 years later you're still risking everything to help other people.."

"It's what I do"

"Let me help you.. it's okay to not be okay all the time" Steve assures you, fighting his grip around you.

"I don't need pity" you assure him.

"I would never pity you" he exclaims. "I just want you to know whatever you need im here for you"

"Thank you" you whisper, as another tear rolls down your cheek. "He doesn't want anything to do with me you know"

"Stark?"

"Him too, but I was talking about Loki.. he hates me." You explain. "He thinks I left him, that I didn't care about him, he looked me right in the eyes and told me I was dead to him" you sigh.

"I'm sorry" Steve says, it's clear he doesn't know what to say.

"It's fine, I just need a distraction. Something to take my mind off things" you exhale deeply, turning to look at him again.

You and Steve's eyes meet, and for a moment you let yourself be taken away into his eyes.

"Does it make me a terrible person I really want to kiss you right now?" Steve chuckles kindly.

"No" you slowly shake your head. "But it does make me a shitty person for wanting you to" you whisper.

Steve cups your face slowly leaning in to kiss you. Your lips barely touch when you're interrupted.

"Unbelievable" Tony scoffs, before walking away.

You look up at Steve, taking a deep breath.
"I'm sorry" you whisper as you run after Tony, calling for him to stop, but he keeps walking. You follow him into the common area.

"You need to move"

"What?" You say shocked. You can see the pain in his eyes, unable to stand still.

"This isn't working for me, I can't co-exist with you anymore... it's too damn difficult for me" Tony says coldly, shaking his head back and forth.

"If it's about Steve tha-"

"It's about everything" Tony yells, making you flinch, this is just like you're back in time, breaking his heart all over again. "I don't want to see you kissing him, god I don't want to see you kiss anyone else" his words hurts more than you could ever imagine.