The Devil and His Flower//5SOS •Luke Hemmings•

If It's Exhausting to Hate Someone, You Don't Really Hate Them

We started the livestream. Realistically it was just us fucking around with random stuff we found in Luke's garage. "Bro, no, what the fuck." I said while laughing my ass off as Calum ran all over the place with his shirt off screaming, "I'M A MUPPET."

"Which Muppet are you?" Ashton asked. "Miss Piggy, bitch. That means your my Kermit." He said, blowing kisses to Ashton as I laughed harder. Eventually the live ended and we cleaned up all the shit we dragged out.

"See, wasn't that a fun idea?" I said. "Honestly, yes it was a great fucking idea."Calum said. I smiled. "I new it would be." I said, sitting down on the couch next to Luke, him wrapping his arm around me. "What do we do now?" Michael asked.

"Well, let me see what time it is." I said, taking out my phone and looking at the time. "Shit." I said getting up from the couch. "My mom wanted me to come home at 4 and it's 5. I have to go. Luke I'll text you, I love you, and for the rest of you, stay out of trouble and don't fucking die." I said sprinting to the front door and across the street to my house.

I ran straight from Luke'a house and opened the front door door to mine. "Mom?" I called. "In the kitchen!" She hollered. I walked to the kitchen and looked at my mom "Did you have fun at Luke's?" I nodded and then looked to the person sitting across from her with a coffee cup in their hand. I can't.

I hadn't seen my dad in what 14-13 years. That's like more than half my life. "I-uh."I stammered. "Honey, I know this hard." Evelyn said as I felt my dads eyes scan me, looking at my arms, my hair, my attire. "Sweethea-", my dad started, but I cut him off by running out of the kitchen, just hearing my mom say, "Give her some time John." and back outside.

When I reached outside, I fell to my knees on the concrete of the front porch. I just sat there, crying. This is why I didn't want to come back here.

Never stay in one place for to  long. Someone will say something and the past catches up.

The words my mother told me day in and day out since the day we left this fucking town in the first place. Guess she have up on that, hell, I asked her too. After that stupid fight, I didn't want to run anymore, I just wanted to stay somewhere long enough for it to feel like home, for it to be home.

I had Luke, Michael, Ashton, Calum, and Dylan. That's all I ever needed. A mitch-match family of friends that I actually got a long with and couldn't have another worry in the world when I'm around. I also have Evelyn.

Even though Evelyn is not the best mother, she tries. And that's all I could ever ask for. We just sometimes need space from each other when we fight  the over stupid things that make up reality.

My dad though. God, My whole life was built on the foundation that he broke, so my walls were built strong, and my mother and I shut the door and locked it tight so he wouldn't mess with us. We hated him, and I'm not entirely sure whose fault it is on why he is hated.

Of course, I was only 4 the last time I saw him and I don't remember seeing him any time before that. He left us, he could've stayed and been a husband to my mom and could have been a father to me, but no. He left, and didn't even bother trying to be in my life whatsoever.

I hated him. And there was no changing that. If it's hard and exhausting for you to hate someone, then you don't really hate them, you just love them a little too much and you hate that. So you hate them. The same thing goes for trying to love someone you hate. You'll never truly love them, you'll always hate them deep down, and there was no changing that.

The first case scenario fit Luke and I to a T. It was beginning to get really hard and exhausting to hate Luke, because I love him. The second case scenario is directed to my dad. I hated him, and there was nothing he, myself, Evelyn, or GiGi could do to change that.

I hated him and I didn't want him in my life, or even Mom's for that matter.

After drowning in my thoughts for a bit, I wiped my tears with my hands and then my shirt. I slowly got up, wincing at the pain in my knees I was apparently numb to as I thought. They were bleeding. After I got up, I stood in front of the door debating if I should I go in or just run away.

I opened the door and walked in. "Violet. Your dad wants to talk to you." She said. I looked at her. How could she let him in here. After all we've done to avoid him? "First of all, he isn't my dad, last time I checked, a dad doesn't leave their kids mother and they don't fucking leave the kid. You know nothing about me and I know nothing about you. And I like to fucking keep it that way." I said.

Walking over and sitting as far away from him as I could. "I'll talk, but if it goes south, I want you out and I don't want you to come back." He nodded.

"So, how are you?" He asked. "Fine." I said, not really wanting to talk to him. "How is school?" "Fine." I was giving him short answers, because he doesn't deserve to know anything about me with given detail. He wasn't around to learn about me then, so no trying now. This isn't a game of catch up where we live in the past. If he wanted to know things about me, he wouldn't have left.

"Still playing guitar?" He asked. I nodded. He sighed. And I rolled my eyes. "What about boys? You got a boyfriend?" I nodded. "Can I meet him?" I sighed. I debated on whether or not he should meet Luke.

I decided he should. Rub it in his face that I am doing fucking excellent with out him in my life and that he, realistically, puts a damper in my mood. I also feel like I could do this if I had Luke here for support. I nodded and got up. "He lives across the street, I'll be back."