I wish to be alone

I don't want to be spoken to, or looked at,

I want to disappear into the floor or the wall,

Become a part of the house,

An object of unwavering solidity,

With no feelings or thoughts,

No pain or loss.

To sit and watch the years pass by,

Without so much as a hint of feeling,

To stare out into the street and see,

The cars change, the people change,

The landscape warp from the tearing down of old homes,

And the building up of new ones.

How freeing it must feel to just be,

Without the universe picking you apart at random,

As a reminder that you are simultaneously,

Important enough to deserve such attention,

Yet, inconsequential enough for it all to mean,

Nothing.

I wish I could be like a house,

Just squatting through the tides of time,

Indifferent to the ebbs and flows,

Indifferent to the grief.