Safe.

    Opening the doors to my highschool, cold air swept the hair away from my face and provided a cold welcome to my morning. My eyes stung with a tired sensation, the feeling of allowing my eyes to close seemed to be the most pleasant feeling, until I saw her. Standing with a small group of friends in her usual corner, I heard her laugh from across the hall. She was everything I dreamed of, I just hoped she would return my feelings, feelings that have not budged for years of loving her.
    I let my lungs take their time, inhaling slowly, before I made my way closer to her. "Should I give her this letter? I might ruin everything." My mind doubted me, thoughts of regret tied my stomach in knots, and like I usually do, I let my fear control me. Before I knew it, my feet had taken me to a safe corner, the usual clutters of dust printing on my pants as I sat down.
    The only thing that my sight focused on was the piece of paper clenched tightly in my hand, having to let it go before I crushed it beyond repair. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I fought with my head, thinking that I would never have the courage to give her what I wanted to dearly too. That's when I got an idea. Her locker. I knew where her locker was, so I could fold it smaller than the current size and tuck it into one of the small slits that led into the dark, clustered space, awaiting PE for her to receive it.
    The drums that played in my chest grew stronger as my footsteps tapped the hard floor that led to the locker rooms at the opposite end of the school. I opened the doors, feeling the atmosphere change as I saw the rows of lockers, knowing exactly where to go. However, as I proceeded, my heart seemed to be fighting its way out of my chest every moment, getting closer to escaping through my flesh. There it was, the third one in a row of 20, and it seemed to have a personality and aura of its own, even though it was an inanimate object. The hesitation lasted an elongated 26 seconds, until I finally convinced myself to get it over with and put the paper in, letting the knots in my stomach tighten and twist. It's done. Now all that there was left was to await a response.
    The only thought on my mind was of the letter, if she would return my feelings or leave me in pain and regret. The school day sped by, and as the clock indicated for people to leave their last period, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. Her. Alina looked at me with a pitying emotion in her eyes and expression. She looked sad, which only made the thoughts in my head spin around like a tornado in an open field, the land vulnerable to any threats.
    "I'm really sorry..." She stammered, trying to make her voice sound clear. "I appreciate your compliments, but I can't return your feelings." My ears rang, my vision, growing blurry, never left her face, her eyes looking at the ground and back to me.
    I didn't know what to say, but trying to speak, the lump in my throat provided a block to my words. "You don't have to reply, but I am sorry." Alina seemed to hesitate, maybe she was going to continue, but I would never know, for someone bumped into her, pushing her a few inches to the side before she followed the crowd that was leaving school.
    I couldn't seem to comprehend what this ment. She would never see me the same, she was probably disgusted by me, maybe her friends saw the letter and laughed about it, there were so many things that could go wrong for me, I couldn't face going to school again.
    But I couldn't leave her.
~~~~~~~~
    My body and mind were still in shock as the familiar sound of my alarm played, forcing me to face reality. Oh how I wished I could lay down forever, letting the sheets consume every part of me, but I couldn't. I had to go to school today, no matter how painful it would be. My morning routine was as usual, many yawns scattered upon the designated steps I set for myself.
    I hated how I looked today, my reflection showing the dark circles under my eyes, puffiness above the dark patches from the crying I had done the night before mixed with an unhealthy lack of sleep. To try and help this, along with concealer, I laid my icy fingers on my eyelids, waking me up.
    Music helped distract me from all of the sounds that swarmed around the air on the cramped bus, but I could still hear the loud screeching of the bus brakes.
School again.
Dread weighed me down, but this was my last year, so I lifted myself up with the thoughts of summer with my family, which was thankfully enough to carry me inside. Alina was in her usual spot, and for the first time in months, she looked in my direction as I crossed the hall. We made eye contact, but she didn't look as if she was disgusted to see me, she looked like she was thinking about something, perhaps lost in her own thoughts. I can't pinpoint why, but this gave me hope.
The aura in the space between us snapped as two people, seeming to be a tall guy next to a girl about the same height as Alina, approached her. They had cocky smiles plastered onto their faces, but Alina didn't share the emotion. Instead, she looked frightened. I stopped walking when the group began to leave for the doors that lead outside, deciding to follow them. No one could stop me if they thought I was following them anyways, because there are bathrooms along the same direction, and I could say I was heading there.
Silent talking came from the group, too quiet for me to hear, but I observed the occasional arm bump and laugh from the two that approached Alina. The joking vibe took a sharp turn into a dark, unsettling feel. Walking closer to them, my body felt as if it was begging to be pulled back, but this wasn't the time to listen to it.
"You got the money?" The taller man seemed to ask, not turning his head.
The first distinct sentence I heard piqued my curiosity, and opened a possibility for these people to be harmful, which I would not tolerate. Instead of an audible answer, I noticed Alina nod before continuing to keep her head down. There was no way this wasn't bad news, which only made me want to find out what was going on more. Of course, this may be a private situation, so I had to change my path, seeming to walk to the football field instead of the private area in which they seemed to be in a rush to get to.
It felt somewhat stupid cramping myself into a bush to avoid being seen, letting the branches poke me and occasional bugs crawl or land onto my skin, but it was necessary. They knew what they were doing, going in a section that was unmarked by security cameras and one that no one passed, so I prepared my mind in advance for what may happen. 
When they came to a halt, Alina rummaged through her bag, pulling out a seemingly significant amount of cash, which was immediately taken by the girl.
"Hey Karis," she started, nudging the taller male. "Is $150 enough for the week?" She asked when she finished flipping through the bills. 
"She clearly didn't steal enough. We need at least $200 a week from her, do whatever you think she deserves." An annoyed, flat tone was used by Karis as he held out his hand, gesturing for the girl to give him the money.
She complied with the inverbal command, and turned to Alina, smiling as if she were happy Alina didn't bring enough to satisfy them.
"Please, Chryss" Alina backed up, tears already staining her face. "I'll bring more next week," She seemed to be trying to think of what to say under the pressure of the girl getting closer.
"That's great. This won't happen next week then." Closing the distance between them, the girl's fist forcefully made harsh contact with Alina's face, followed by a kick to the stomach, knocking the air out of her chest.
Alina stumbled to the ground, clutching her stomach as short breathes desperately tried to lengthen, but this only fueled Chryss's desire for violence more. A kick that felt like swords targeted Alina's upper chest, sending her to the ground entirely this time. I couldn't bear seeing Alina like this, people doing whatever they want to her. I had to help her, I just couldn't yet, which only made me want to hurt Chryss and Karis more. They wouldn't do this to Alina anymore, I was going to make sure of it.
After a few prolonged minutes, the two partners left, Chryss getting in one last kick before walking away with her companion. However, Alina stayed where she was, huddled into a ball painted with blood and bruises that would develop more intensely soon. Looking down at my hands, I seem to have not noticed the fingernail marks defined in my own blood, or my face being damp with salty tears.
I tried to be quiet, avoiding excessive rustling in the bush as I snuck out, only to walk back and act like I found Alina in her current state.
"Alina!" I rushed over to the shaking figure, putting my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to uncover her face or bring a sense of comfort. "What happened?!" my voice was frantic, but silence was the response I received. "Do you want me to get someone?"
Almost cut off, Alina assured me. "No, no, I will get over it, a teacher will only make things worse." She started to rise from the pile she was a moment ago, and looked at me, allowing me to notice every mark that was mercicly left on her face.
"Come with me. I have stuff that can help." I stood up, offering my hand, and to my relief, she took it.
Of course she was stumbly walking, but there wasn't a care in my mind. I was helping the girl I fell in love with, and she was letting me help her without any sign of disgust, even though she turned me down yesterday. We entered the bathroom, thankfully there was no one in there, and I took out the safety kit I always kept in my backpack, picking out the items I knew I needed.
A smile curved onto Alina's face as she looked at me when I was applying alcohol pads to the dirtied areas of her skin. "You keep a first aid kit in your backpack?" I heard a small laugh come from her, making me laugh in my response back.
"You never know, and it seems to have been a good idea, am I wrong?"
"Cant argue on that."
We both smiled for a brief moment, but her expression turned into a look of sorrow before she started up a new topic of conversation.
"Don't tell anyone about this, ok?" Her eyes seemed to be searching for something in mine, so I tried to reassure her in any way I could.
"I won't. Trust me." She still looked worried, but in a way I felt as if she felt a small bit of relief. Little did she know why I was so compliant with not telling anyone.
After I bandaged her up, she put on a face mask to help cover the signs of injury. The morning bell rang, indicating for the students to get to class, so she thanked me one final time before heading off, leaving me to take in what had just happened. That was the closest I've ever been with her since we were kids, I can't believe I maintained composure.
~~~~~~~~
    Well, I may have spoken too soon. Different thoughts of her seemed to be a smoke screen over any other subjects in my mind, but this wasn't a problem, she was what I wanted to think about.
    Chryss and Karis. They needed to disappear, be erased from Alina's life, and I would help that need come true. Thankfully, school ended, and I spotted the two heading out to their bus. They rode a different bus than me, but that was ok. I would take it today.
    The bus moved with my steps as I climbed the stairs, taking a seat a few rows behind my target's. Time passed, people filed off of the bus, little sections at a time, until the time finally came that Karis and Chryss stood up, me following close behind. The neighborhood we traveled into seemed normal enough, one of the yards having a dog running around with a slobber covered ball, and two kids playing basketball in the road. The two I was following turned the corner to a long driveway that I assumed led to their house. It was still daylight, I couldn't make my move yet. Luckily, their property was surrounded by a pleasant looking forest, perfect for me to stay in until night fell.
~~~~~~~
    It was finally time, dim lighting surrounding me as the sun slept behind the blankets of darkness, allowing soft moonlight to keep the earth from complete darkness. I felt the gentle brush of wet grass on my ankle as I made my way across their yard to a window close to the ground. I did not spot any security cameras, nor alarms, which was a good sign that I could proceed further on. The window was slightly louder than I had hoped as it clicked and slid open, but the house remained as still as before. Trusting my instinct, I first headed up the stairs, hoping their bedrooms settled there.
The feel of the knife fit perfectly in my grasp, my other hand holding a tough rope that slightly scratched my calloused skin. There were multiple doors I could choose from to enter down the eerie hallway. My first choice was one on the right side towards the end. The knob was cold to the touch, slowly turning as I tried my best to keep quiet. As my vision expanded, I saw Karis sleeping soundly in his bed, laying on his back. There was clutter on the ground, mostly clothing, but there were two pillows that seemed to have been thrown or kicked off mid sleep. That's when I knew what I was going to do. I leaned down, grabbing a large pillow and putting my other supplies in a pocket from my hoodie, before I made my way to Karis.
The room would be in complete silence if not for the fan that created white noise, so I couldn't make much sound when ending him. A floorboard creaked as I towered over the sleeping figure, causing a shadow to form beneath my body. A great force was emitted from my arms, the pillow pushing onto his face until it seemed flat with the bed. As expected, his body started to jerk around and struggle, so I had to use my body to pin him in place.
He wasn't going anywhere.
Muffled screams could be heard if you were in his room, but the pillow drowned out his cries for help enough to where no one was able to hear him. Gotta give him credit, his struggling to breathe, only to have fabric clogging his airways and blocking out any chance to breathe lasted longer than I would have thought, but eventually his body fell limp. He was finally gone, he could never hurt my love again. For extra measure, I leaned on his chest to feel if his heart was beating, and to my satisfaction, his chest felt hollow, deprived of life.  I then rose, ready to take on my next target of the night.
I don't know if there is a word to describe what I was feeling after killing him, maybe if there was a word that describes being satisfied, emotionless, determined, vengeful, and enraged all at once, I could use that, but there was no time to think about my emotions, I wasn't finished.
Chryss's room was darker than Karis's, seemed unsettling, even. When I saw her, I knew all my emotions pinpointed into hurting her for what she had done, smothering was too easy of a death than she deserved. This made me draw the knife and rope from my pocket, my grip tightening as if I were to snap the objects as I approached Chriss. I first took the rope, lining it up with her neck, and pressed down as hard as my body allowed me. This made the girl jolt awake, trying to gasp for air whilst her hands flew from trying to pull off the rope to trying to get me off of her.
Afraid she would die before I got to do much else, I quickly moved my knee in place of my hand and reached for my knife. Mid grab, Chriss's fingers jabbed forcefully into my eyes, causing me to wince in pain and move faster than planned. With my second of weakness in her attack, she managed to get a breath, even a small lunge forward, but she was too late. The sharp blade pierced through her skin, traveling deep into her stomach before it was yanked out by me, letting a large flow of blood escape. She screamed in agony, and I covered her mouth harshly, fighting with myself at the fact I got immersed into the moment, leading me to allow a mistake like creating an opening for her to make noise happen.
She seemed to get weaker rapidly, her blood painting the purple covers of her bed. Her stomach had a deep gash, there were two long slashes on her arms, and a final puncture in her thigh. Because of these wounds, it was not long until her body lost control, and I was left with a girl that fought moments before in front of me, dead. I seemed to have lost control of myself, the impulse to stab and hurt her took my consciousness away, and I ended up creating a mess I wasn't ready to clean. My skin was dripping with sweat mixed with warm blood, my breath shallow and fast, mind scattered.
I looked around me, crimson liquid somehow made its way to the other end of the room. This was much more complicated than the suffocation of Karis. Why hadn't I stayed composed and did an easy kill, I may have been able to cover my tracks, but now it was hopeless. I would be caught, Alina would hate me, and my life would be ruined.
But my love would be safe without them, so this was all worth it in the end.
~~~~~~~
    I woke up dazed in my room the next day, not having a full recollection of the night before. The bathroom light felt increasingly bright, but to my relief, when I looked into the mirror, my black hair wasn't clumped together by hardened blood, nor my skin or clothes stained red. I don't think I covered the evidence that it was me who killed them well in any way, so I had to do whatever I wanted to do before they were found. Thankfully they seemed to have been alone, there being no cars in the driveway, but that didn't mean their friends at school wouldn't notice.
    Walking into school, I saw Alina as usual, and this time, she waved at me with her welcoming, warm smile.
    "Hey, thanks for yesterday." she said sincerely when I was in close proximity to her.
    "Of course. Also, don't feel pressured to, but do you want to come over to my family's cabin today for the weekend, after school?" I hoped she would say yes, but with the hesitation she showed, my spirits dwindled.
    After a moment of thought, Alinas optimistic voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Sure! I'll have to ask my parents first, but other than that I think that would be fun."
    The thought of her parents knowing she was with me posed a threat, but it would be fine. The place I wanted to take her can't be found on a map of any sort, and I am already going to be a suspect, so my mind canceled out any complications it didn't want to handle.
    "Sounds good, meet here after sixth period." I concluded, not even feeling the need or want to hide my smile.
    Sadly, none of my classes were gifted with Alina's presence, but the school day eventually came to an end, marking the start of my time with her.
    "Jaye!" Alina called me over when she noticed my confusion, alone in where she usually stood.
    I excitedly hurried over to her, stopping myself from hugging her tightly. When we talked, it didn't feel like I didn't belong, it felt like she liked me, which made everything seem perfect. Even the bus ride home was enjoyable with her, and it felt natural. Of course, I couldn't help the occasional wave of nervousness as her body bumped against mine, or our faces being mere inches apart, but I covered the pink hue that crept onto my face with a turn of my head.
    "So, where is this cabin of yours hidden?" Alina asked with a smirk.
    I laughed before I began. "You'll see, I can tell you one thing though," She awaited the finishing of my sentence. "You'll be glad your parents let you go."
    Walking to my house, our steps synchronized as they stretched across the concrete, damp from rain earlier in the day. Conversation was unrelated, thankfully, to Chryss and Karis, and instead being about simple things, like interests in music and hobbies we picked up or left behind over the years. Before heading out to the forest, we packed some essentials in backpacks, even though all we needed was already in the cabin, thanks to me. The crisp forest air was refreshing and the weather wasn't too cold like usual, which was of course a comment I made while we walked to get on a quad.
    Swinging my leg around the seat and getting comfortable, I felt heat rush to my face when Alina sat behind me, completely pressing against me.
Don't panic.
    "I haven't been on one of these in such a long time!" Alina exclaimed with excitement.
    "Is that so? I'll have to make it that much more enjoyable then." We both shared the same expressions, and I sped forward into the maze of trees, both laughing and cheering with Alina.
~~~~~~
    I stopped the quad before the cabin. "And here we are!" The cabin was put on a pedestal by myself as I lifted my arms into the air, displaying the amazing woodwork ahead of us.
    "This looks incredible!" She stood in admiration, mouth open.
    We headed inside and started to unpack our things, the old wood feeling as if it caved in the slightest bit at our weight. I offered her a drink, to which she accepted, and went to get what I needed. Running my fingers along the cabinets, I landed on a hidden container, holding a powder that would cause someone to lose consciousness.
    "Here you go." I handed her the deverage, soda with a secret additive, with a smile.
    She thanked me, joyfully drinking the soda as we talked, growing slightly nauseous just after a few sips. Her words started to slur, and that was my que she was going to be out cold in just a moment. Her face turned into a confused expression when she noticed mine stay the same, even when she asked on multiple occasions what was in the drink.
    Then she was asleep, where she could not be harmed nor do things that would lead me to hurt her. Scooping her up below my arms, I brought her to a nice, decorated basement, and placed her on a comfortable chair. I took a rope that wouldn't hurt her wrists and ankles if she were to struggle, and tied them securely. Even though this was for her own good, she may not understand that at first.
    I settled myself into a wooden seat, one that could be seen at a dining table of some sort, and waited for her peaceful sleep to end, and look at me.
    Her eyes fluttered open, she seemed to take a moment to adjust to her surroundings. As soon as Alina was fully awaken, her chest started to move more rapidly, and her head jerking from side to side.
    "What are you doing? Let me go!" Her voice was struggled, and I knew I had to calm her down.
    "Calm down, I am not going to hurt you. Here, let me get you a quick snack, stay here." I rose from my place, and headed to the kitchen to get a chocolate chip cookie.
    Humming to myself, I was about to head back to my love, when I heard a loud cry for help. It went on and on, but my pace stayed slow. I exhaled as I opened the door leading down a flight of stairs. That's when I saw her on the floor, chair knocked over with one of the legs snapped. Anger boiled up my throat and I let myself yell at her. I didn't want to ever yell, but she left me no choice.
    She cut off my voice as she gestured to her bracelet. "I already sent my emergency location to my parents. The police will find us soon and arrest you." Her voice was filled with the same rage as mine, but there were tears scattered onto her face.
    I was in disbelief. "How could she do this to me?" I thought to myself.
    She continued to move, and managed to get a wrist to slip out of the ropes that had a hold on her, which made me spiral into anger, panic, and regret. I quickly brought myself to her, and without thinking, took a metal bar that was leaning against the fireplace and struck her head, wanting her to pass out. My ears were ringing and eyes red, immediately realizing what I had done. I had killed Alina.
    I meant to just knock her out, take her somewhere safe, but I had forgotten my own strength, and she lay lifeless in front of me, thick blood streaming from her head, through her hair. It was all over. At that moment, I knew my life was over, so I sat next to her, awaiting capture for what I had done. Deep inside of me, I hoped her death would end any suffering, but I knew it was my turn to hurt, this time without a possibility of ever being with her.