i remember two years ago now. there was screaming, banging, silence, then footsteps approaching. she couldn't do this anymore,once again, and i was so relieved, again. we go over our impossible escape plan for the thousandth time. we tell each other there's hope; there isn't. she came back up an hour later to toss the tickets. i remember sobbing, i ask her why not me? why is it never me that you choose? the look she gave petrified every bone in my body, and the remark she spit out shattered my soul. why not her? what did she mean? she doesn't want him. she convinced herself she was choosing on her own, but she only chose the path of least resistance.
i am not the easy choice; i never have been,
and now i remember why.
