|-.•Him•.-|

•Think before you speak...•

   MAJOR TW!!!!
Mention of r@zor!
Mention of relapse urge!
Only read if comfortable!
Enjoy<3

I come out from my room after listening to Marinas "The family Jewels" album on full blast.
I grab some of my favorite cran-tropical juice and stand there drinking it while petting my cat and listening to my mom and sister talk about my sisters "friends with benefits".
I talk a bit so I don't seem like a loner even though they are my family.
"You need to take off all those necklaces" my mom says
"It's only three?
I say back.
"And those bracelets"
My sister buts in.
...
those bracelets hide something I did that I'm ashamed of and not afraid to do again.
"Well I'm gay bro"
I say back as a joke to match the mood
"Not everything is about being gay bitch, it's annoying"
My sister states
"..."
I just stay quiet.
I finish my drink and head to back to the room.
I scroll on tik tok minding my business thinking about what my sister said.
"Its annoying"
...all I did was try to match the mood and have fun and be myself for a change...
My sister walks in and asks me to pass her a few things.
I stay quiet and don't even look her in the eye.
I pass her what she wanted and then asks
"Are you in a bad mood or something?"
.
"I mean all I did was try to have fun but apparently it's annoying."
I state, with a noticeable amount of attitude
"Well dude we get it your gay, relax. It just gets annoying."
...
I stay quiet.
I had so much in my head that I could say but it was 12 am so I just kept quiet.
"Well it's also annoying that I get asked,"hey why don't you hang out with us anymore?" Or "why do you have an attitude?" when all I'm doing is just trying to be myself but I can't even do that because I'm just annoying right?"
That's one of the things I really wanted to tell out.
"You really wanna know what's annoying?" not having one simple fucking boundary respected." that's definitely something you and mom don't know about"
I also really wanted to shout that out aswell.
...
You know how I said about that thing that I was ashamed about and wasn't afraid to do again right?...
Damn well know I was considering it again.
But, I couldn't. I couldn't grab the fucking r@zor.
It was my sisters.
I couldn't just open the drawer?
She was in the room with me.
I grab my phone and my charger and head to the bathroom.
12:56
Crying in the bathroom.
Wishing korey was here to comfort me.
I really want to text him but he's already asleep especially after doing so much homework.
I just kept fantasizing and wishing that he was right here next to me and that I could rest my head on his shoulder and cry.

-/\/\ | /\ <3