-gn reader -fluff -roomates -TW:mentions of suicide and self harm
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It was a lonely and quiet night after a hard day of college and you were sitting in your messy bed, on the brim of crying. The slight light from the bedside lamp was making your eyes gleam as crystal clear tears were slowly filling up your eyes.
Everything felt like a burden but most exactly, you felt like a burden on people's backs. You felt like you were an annoyance to your classmates. People didn't seem to care about your opinion and acted as if you disappear one day, no one would notice that you were gone, you wanted to just punch yourself whenever you saw yourself in the mirror, thinking of yourself as a failure at every moment. Your depression was getting the best of you and you generally thought you couldn't do this anymore, you could even jump off a cliff and there would be nobody who would care, except for one person.
That person is your roommate and long time friend, Zhongli, wich you unexpectedly had fallen for. You loved everything about him, the way that he would always comfort you when you were sad and make you tea and cookies afterwards, the way that he lights up your mood with a single smile, the way he never left you like everybody else did, or the way he always checked on your well-being and being concerned when you're sad. You loved his pretty amber eyes, the way his voice sounds so calming and nice,you loved the way he holds your hand, you loved how he hugs you and you love the fact that he makes you feel special and worth it, when even you think that you're a disgrace. You loved him so much, you just wanted to stay with him forever but you weren't sure if the feeling is mutual.
It had to be, right?
Your eyes were watering and you were slowly starting to sob and eventually start crying, you hug onto your pillow, wanting to scream but, you couldn't wake up anybody since it was almost 2 AM, so you just stayed there letting everything out, soaking your pillow in sorrowful tears, feeling weak and vulnerable.
The crying was put to an end as you heard someone with a familiar voice, knocking on the door.
"May I come in?" Zhongli said, his voice being concealed behind the wooden door in your room.
You took a spare moment to compose yourself, wiping your eyes from the tears and turning the pillow that you had cried on upside-down.
"Yes, of course!" You said in a shaky voice.
Zhongli entered carefully, the warm light was distant from him but he still shined like gold as you were carefully watching him.
"Can't sleep again I see?" He asks, while resting his shoulder on the frame of the door, crossing his arms.
"Well, yeah, there's no point of denying that." You said as your eyes started to fill up with tears again.
"Were you crying again?"He asks, getting himself next to you, hugging you and resting his head on yours.
You struggled to respond through the heavy tears in your eyes that were blurring your vision. You just muttered a small "yeah" and this was enough for Zhongli to understand that you needed someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on.
Zhongli's way of seeing things was a little different, he didn't understand why people treated you like this, to him you were the nicest and most kindest person he ever met and he was mad that people were making use of your kindness and that this was hurting you. He also didn't understand why you thought about yourself that way, he thinks you are beautiful in your own way and you truly were the best thing that has happened to him since highschool ended. He simply didn't want to lose you like this and he wouldn't let that happen.
Zhongli was stroking your hair as you were sobbing on his shoulder.
"Hey..." He quietly said."How about we go outside for some fresh air and you could just let it all out, you know I'm always here to listen." He said. You nodded in response.
You went on the balcony, the night's sky was beautiful it made the atmosphere perfect, a soft calming wind was blowing, the stars above you were shining through the dark sea of clouds. The city lights were in a wonderful contrast with the dark sky and even though it was the middle of the night, the city seemed alive.
You sat down on the balcony's floor,the moon was shining upon you. It all felt a little awkward for you since you were ashamed to cry. Crying was a thing for weak people and you also didn't want Zhongli to see you like this,again. You cried so many times around him and you were starting to think he's getting sick of having to comfort you every time.
"I just...can't do this anymore!" You said through you unstoppable crying. "Everyone is using me and it drains me out. I feel like if I just disappeared one day, no one would care. I'm starting to feel ashamed of what I've become and I just wish I never existed!"
"Look, you are not a disappointment, to me you are the most strongest and kindest person I've ever met. Just imagine how many people will miss you if you if you were gone.." He said, grabbing your hands in his.
"I just don't think anybody would miss me you know..." You said with somewhat of a guilt.
"Well I certainly would miss you." Zhongli stated as he quickly hugged you tightly.
"Thank you." You said, still being held in Zhongli's tight embrace, feeling a little bit better knowing that he cares, he always did, it was only you who doubted everything about your relationship.
The next moments, after you parted from the embrace, you spent looking into each other's eyes. It wasn't awkward, this time it was comforting. Zhongli took a loose strand of your hair and tucking it behind your ear and continuing by cupping your cheek, bringing you closer.
"May I?" He asked you with a nervous tone.
You smiled at his question, happiness was filling your eyes as you nodded in response.
Suddenly you were met with a soft pair of lips onto yours, this moment was one that you have waited for so long and was full of love and emotion, even if it lasted only for a few seconds, you cherished this moment, making it feel like it lasted longer, butterflies were flying in your stomach as you finally parted from the kiss, going into another loving embrace.
"Thank you so much. You muttered. "For everything."
"No need to thank me, you know I'm always here for you." Zhongli said. "You are the closest person i know after all. He said as he looked at you and then took another glare at the night's beautiful sky that will always remind him of you from now on.
