Isobel Asks The Internet

XXII - The Community Fundraiser

I organised a community fundraiser and it was subject to unexpected disruptions! Did we deal with this correctly?

Hey everyone!

So, a few weeks ago our town's beloved hedge-maze was SAVAGELY incinerated by Brindie after she chased some friends and I inside. This was such a huge blow to local morale, as everyone loved the hedge-maze, so I knew that I had to step in and do something about the situation. It would also be a boost to my already excellent reputation in town, as I would be seen as combatting the devastating excesses of Brindie. My only regret was that Emma, who had unfortunately been killed in the fire, had not lived to bear witness to my success.

I was brainstorming my potential fundraising options in my office at the supermarket that I am the part-time, head manager of (while studying for a degree in physics), when the PERFECT idea suddenly struck me; I should host a bake sale at the supermarket! The local community is very food-centric, and I knew that they would eat this idea up. I would ask various individuals and institutions in the community (as well as my employees) to gift baked goods to the sale, and donate a generous 45% of the profits to the hedge-maze regeneration initiative! I called Betty (the owner of the hedge-maze) and she gushed with enthusiasm, however I suspected that this was because she didn't want to pay for it herself. 

From a logistics perspective, I had planned everything out meticulously. I shut down both the café and the pharmacy within the supermarket, so they could act as the staging area for the bake sale. There were also counters set up for the baked goods to be displayed. I had also decided to charge £5 for entry into the bake sale (so everyone knew that it was an exclusive event) and had stationed Nigella at the entrance for security purposes

In terms of the baked goods themselves, SO many people chipped in! Heini brought Mustikkapiirakka from her native homeland of Finland, and Katie's mum donated some Hong-Kong style egg tarts. Some of my employees made contributions too! Sandy made a coffee and walnut cake (with extra caffeine) and Brittany baked a prune loaf, which I had never tried before, but I have a reputation for supporting avant-garde initiatives so I permitted it to be a component of the tablescape. Vix made some chocolate-chip cookies, but I could tell just by looking at them that they were sub-par, so I kicked them into a waste disposal unit. I made sure to thank everyone for their contributions, and apologised for not baking anything myself, explaining that my busy and successful schedule does not often permit me to indulge in such leisurely activities. 

To capture the momentum of the event, I also invited Renata and Xena from the newspaper society to ensure that the story of the fundraiser was captured for posterity. We had also put together a special issue of the newspaper all about the night that the hedge-maze had burned down, featuring exclusive interviews with me, Zelda-Mae and Mallory (who had been there during the incident). There was also a SHORT obituary for Emma followed by a section at the end where I talked about all the new updates coming to the supermarket, such as the salad bar concept that me and Nigella were pioneering. We were selling these issues for £10, or alternatively people could buy a copy that was signed by me for £30.

We opened the fundraiser in the morning, and it was SO popular that Nigella had to implement some unusual crowd control techniques. Thousands of people in town had heard about the initiative, and wanted to come to buy some cake. A few hours into the event, I saw a slightly windswept, semi-professional lady bustle up to me and say "Isobel!! it's so nice to meet you!". I was puzzled at first to who this might be, but she explained that her name was Verona, and she had taken over the area manager job after Angelica had been fired. At first I was wary, but Verona was (unsurprisingly) impressed with the fundraiser, and wanted to write about it in the company newsletter as an example of dedicated community service.

While I was filling her in on the details of the arson that had necessitated this emergency bake sale, I heard someone loudly squawk "what the FUCK is going on here?" from behind me. I spun on my heels and saw Debra at the entrance, being restrained by Nigella. She was screaming about how the hedge-maze would never have burned down if Mavis hadn't been killed at Brindie's pool party; I was SICKENED to hear that Debra would try to blame Mavis for the destruction of the hedge-maze and signaled to Nigella that she should be removed immediately. As the staging area of the bake-sale was next to the gardening department, Nigella threw Debra into a wheelbarrow, put another upside-down wheelbarrow on top of the first (like a clam-shell made of gardening implements) and pushed her out of the store. 

I went back to Verona to explain who Debra was and how she factored into the incineration of the hedge-maze. She asked me why Debra was attacking this fundraiser in particular, and I informed her that she and Brindie had blamed me and my friends for the tragic accidental drowning of Mavis at a pool party, not too long ago, and ever since then they had been launching violent attacks upon us. Verona looked concerned to hear this, and told me that she would secure extra security funding for the supermarket; Nigella would be THRILLED to hear this, as she has been looking into advanced forms of surveillance for the premises. 

Unfortunately, Verona had to leave before the conclusion of the fundraiser, but she told me to send her an update about how much we'd raised, and that Head Office would donate an equivalent amount of money! I thanked her for her time and she walked out into the car park, when suddenly a limo came out of nowhere and SLAMMED into Verona! She crashed on to the rough tarmac and was sprawled everywhere. Her bag had been thrown into a tree, and fluorescent nail polish was leaking onto the leaves (the outdoor landscaping department were going to be PISSED). I rushed over to help her, but before I could get to her I saw who was in the driver's seat of the limo...

...it was ANGELICA!

I knew EXACTLY what had happened here. After leaving her old corporate job in abject disgrace after trying to humiliate and attack me, Angelica must have found it impossible to get another managerial job, and was therefore now working as a rental limousine driver. I saw that she had passengers in the back (they looked SO confused), so I wasn't sure if she knew that her successor would be here, or if it was a coincidence that the people had asked her to drive them to the supermarket in order for them to purchase some sundries. I called Nigella to come and restrain Angelica so we could deal with her, and I told her passengers to go wait in the supermarket and buy some cake (and also pay the entry fee). Nigella dragged Angelica out of the limo, and slammed her face against a drain.

I went over to check on Verona and she was OK; she had a few cuts, and one of her heels had bent, but she would survive. Unfortunately, we had been forced to close our pharmacy today due to unforeseen circumstances, so there was nothing much we could do to help her. She waved goodbye again and hobbled over to her car, thankfully not before Xena could come out and take a few pictures for the university newspaper. Following on from this brouhaha, I decided to go back inside and make my presence felt during the twilight of the bake sale. I could tell that it had been DEEPLY successful, and that most of the baked goods had gone. Britney's prune loaf had been approached with some trepidation by the customers, so I decided to give in and buy a slice. 

After everything had been packed up, and the money raised had been counted, I went to my office to phone Betty. She said that it sounded like our contribution, together with the matched donation from Head Office would be ALMOST enough to rebuild the hedge maze in it's entirety. I was devastated that we had fallen short at the last hurdle, but a perfect idea soon came to me; the supermarket could provide the rest of the money from it's advertising budget if we put a HUGE billboard advertisement in the centre of the hedge-maze! Betty loved this idea, and said that with this money we could start building ASAP! 

I don't actually have anything to ask today because I knew that I did everything perfectly.