Being

Part 1:

                                                                           Part 1:

       I look out the old, dirty window, and mentally remind myself to clean it next time I have access to some wipes. As for the view, it's the same it's always been. My room is at the back of the house, so my view looks into the back yard. There's a swing set that's been there for who-knows how long, and a few rusty bikes at one end, but other than that, the yard is mostly overgrown with plants. I don't really know what types they are, but some of them have long stems and tiny white flowers, while others have short stems with big purple ones. I always look out my window first thing in the morning, as I'm doing know. It gives me a sense of hope for the day, even, and especially when there was an awful beating the night before. But, I'll get to that later. For now, I gaze out, happy, because for once, there are bright rays of sun beaming down, making the whole world seem better. 

       "Addy!" I hear my name called sharply from downstairs, and recognize the tone of my foster-father, Matthew, or has he prefers me to call him, sir, but only with family. Beyond the doors of this house, my foster family seems perfect. 

       Then, there is Peyton. He is Matthew's real son, and his mom died when he was 5 in a car crash. He is 3 years older than me, and plays baseball. He's pretty good at it, too, if only his ego weren't so big. Peyton and I have a... unique relationship. But talking about that requires a lot more time, something I don't seem to have at that moment. Sir breaks into my room, opening my door with a bang.

       He grabs me by my ear, and pulls me down the stairs. 

       "I called you 7 times." He barks. "You know what that means, don't you?"

       I gulp back my fear as he brings me toward the kitchen.

       "You're not eating in 7 days. You're looking a little too fat anyways, you need to be on a diet." He says, giving me a once over. " No man wants a fat wife."

       I blink back my tears. I can't let him know how much that hurts me. While I used to think I was pretty skinny for my age, it's like sir's words have embedded in my thinking. Now when I look in the mirror, my whole body looks huge. In reality, though, I've only been loosing weight.

       "Now make me my breakfast, and it better be quick." He growls.

                                                                                                  ...

       20 minutes later, I'm walking down the street, about 2 blocks away from school. Usually, Peyton would drive me to school, although he would drop me off at the corner as he didn't want to "be seen as related to me". Thankfully, today he had weight training early, so I could walk by myself, which I much preferred to what happened in the car with him. I tilted my face towards the sun, trying to soak in it's warmth, despite the fact that I could feel the autumn chill soaking it's way into my body. Finally, I see the school up ahead, and I push through the doors and try to make my way to my locker through the mass of people.

       Suddenly, a hand grips my arm, with sharp nails that I'm sure will leave a mark.

       "Where do you think you're going, you whore?" Christina Abells asks. I gulp, Christina makes my life a living hell while at school, but it's nothing compared to what happens at home. The hallways are slowly emptying as people head to their class before the late bell rings.

       "T-to class." I stutter.

       "You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, so I'll only leave you with this." She says, and slaps me right across the face. The burning sensation makes tears come to my eyes.

       "Oh, she's crying." Christina mocks. "You're such a fat loser." She smirks and walks off with her friends. 

       I grimace against the pain and turn to close my locker. Swinging my bag onto my shoulder, I start heading off to class, finally, when I feel a hand smack my butt.

      "Bro, you were right." The most popular boy in my grade, Luther, says to his friends. " Her ass is all bones." He laughs and runs off with his friends.

       My head hurts and I honestly feel no desire to try anymore. Everyone hates me. My foster father and brother, Christina and her friends, my whole grade really. My parents didn't even love me enough to keep me. I walk to the bathroom, grateful that it's empty. I put my hair to the side, then bend over the toilet, retching out everything I've eaten over the past 24 hours, which is really not much. I usually never purge, but today has just been too much. I wash out my mouth, and wash my face with some cold water from the sink. For some reason, I always feel better when my stomach is empty. I take a few deep breaths, and walk out. 

       Between being late to school, my confrontations with Christina and Luther, and the little trip to the bathroom, it's already second period. I open the door and blend right into the stream of students.

       The rest of the day is regular, and depressing. With no one to talk to and nothing to look forward to at the end of the day, my life seems to be on repeat over and over and over again. My only little brightness is the flowers in the yard, and my faith that hopefully, someday soon, I will be able to escape this life and make my own.