zninja's NoFap "War Stories"

Week One: The War Within

Please note this is not a personal experience of mine. While it is reminiscent of how I felt after the 43 day relapse, I never experienced such a dream. This is a dramatization to capture the essence of the journey and provide entertainment.

***

How did it become like this?

The street was cluttered with shadows, with the brilliant light of day masking the darkness residing in the modern human heart. Half-hearted smiles and greetings overlaid a culture of victim blaming and perverse distortions of sexuality. The friendly, well dressed people-person turned lustily towards the beautiful blonde. With one look at her dress, his thoughts were, she wants it. And that night, in the haze of some frat party, he would have his fun. Would he have her permission? Who knows... Not that I, who had given in to my own evil, could judge.

Two nights earlier, the stress following a hard lab and my raging desires had defeated me. The best parts of me were locked in a nightmare as I drew pleasure from the merciless ravaging of an innocent girl. The following night, pleasure and pain of the act gave way to an inhuman numbness. I was already broken, so what more was there to break? Tonight, I would surrender myself again to the ultimate end.

When I returned to my dorm room, books laid messily strewn about, cluttering a desk and its shelves. In parallel, notifications and forgotten promises clogged the phone I clutched. "43 days" was a long forgotten memory to the naked and numb whelp I now was. And there I was. My roommate was gone, and it was time to find the most erotic and degrading clip possible.

No... not tonight.

I thought as much, but why? I had broken my promise. In an instant of weakness, my old desires had resumed their previous control over me. Surely I did not think I could win? However, I had some notion that I needed to fight the urges, if only once more. I had a lot of things due, and the state of numb stupor that had taken the past two days from me would stop me in my tracks if I relapsed again.

I promised them... I promised I would succeed, as an engineer and as a person. That I would work in medicine to cure the suffering of mankind. That I would fight against hatred itself...

These were the words of an idealistic child, long gone from the world, but they were still precious to me. So I summoned my strength and clumsily pulled night-clothes on; I wasn't going to trust myself to lie down without them. With that, I forcefully purged dark thoughts from my mind and laid down to sleep.

***

I rose from an impossibly silky and ornate bed, glorious in its red color and solid gold adornments. A sickeningly sweet, indescribably scent filled my nostrils, and the allure of some unseen force pulled me from my interrupted slumber. My bare feet crossed a cold, beautiful obsidian tile floor, through a doorway, and on some more, until the force seemed to disappear. Then, behind me stood a brilliantly adorned couch, no, chair; there was only space for one, but a mere brush of its fabric was intoxicating. As I looked in every direction from it, the walls formed a perfect hemispheric dome with a radius of 10 meters. And, by a faint glow, it was clear that the curved walls formed a giant screen, or, more accurately, a series of screens. Horrific curiosity began to peak through mental fog and I yearned to test my apparent possession, but my better judgement led me to look for a window instead... and my heart sank.

Nothing. I ran along all of the walls until I found a subtle door within the sea of monitors and made my way back into the room I had started in. There were no windows to be found anywhere in this building, and no exits, either. I punched the wall with all the strength I could muster and got only the sharp pain of recoil in reply. Then, out of the silence, a voice reached me.