dallas winston - the more you love, the more you know

chapter 21 - leaver

we played three rounds of cards and i won everytime. i loved cards. never takes too much to win as long as you have lucky and focus. if you dont have luck, you have to be strategic.

at the end of the games i had won $4, a pack if a cigarettes, and two packs of razzles. it wasnt my biggest haul, but i was happy with it. i couldn't say i was happy with anything else in my life though.

we decided to go to the park. steve wanted to practice front flips off the monkey bars and darry wanted to work on his pullups.

"LETS GO GUYS!" steve yelled out the door.

"boy is he on something?" asked johnny startled.

"no hes just lively like soda." i said.

"soda never has to get drunk though, steve does all the time." said pony.

"yeah i know." i said.

we got to the park after a brisk walk and something just didnt feel right.

you start looking around and you see bucks car pull up. buck runs out like a psycho loose from the psychward.

"DARRY MAN COME HERE NOW DARRYY!" buck screamed.

darry jerked his head and ran over to the car. there laid a broken soda and an even more broken dallas. they were both covered in stab wounds, bruises, and blood. i started screaming.

"DARREL GET IN THE FUCKING CAR NOW!"

he did as i asked and i jumped in the drivers seat. i drove to the community hospital like a mad man. i was severely pissed and hurt by dallas, but i wasnt going to let the fucker die on me.

they took then back and thats when the rest of the gang arrived thanks to steves car.

"how is he?" pony said with teary eyes. poor kid.

"i dont know pone, i dont know." i whispered and embraced him. he grabbed me so hard and cried just as hard. he lost his parents and now this shit with soda. he deserves more than he gives off. everyone in this sunken town does.

steve sat in the corner and bounced his foot. he occasionally would rest his head in his hands.

johnny just sat there like a dead man. he was scared to death. no color in his face.

darry stood in the hallway asking every doctor that came along if they had any updates.

two-bit paced back and forth and tried to occupy himself with the television.

i held pony. he was just a kid. i think everyone in the gang just forgets how young his is, let alone how young all of us are. we are just kids going through hell and get thrown into a society we arent accepted in. its why people end up like dallas and have self preservation. why people lose themselves in work and stress like darry. why people act dumb so people dont assume and have standards like steve and two-bit. why people drop out like soda. why people have anxiety like johnny. why people give up time to time like pony. and why people go chasing ghosts and dreams that arent worth the pursuit like me.

the docter came out with news that dallas was in a medical induced coma due to the loss of blood and the extensive injuries to his head. soda was in a much better condition and we could even go see him in groups of three. the docter vaguely mentioned memory loss for dallas, but said it was highly rare and that really made none of us have a fuss about it.

darry, pony, and steve went to see soda first. theu knew his the longest and have the deepest connection with him. i went and saw him second with johnny and two-bit.

"hey pal." two-bit said handing him a twinkie. i laughed and then covered my mouth. soda tried to laugh, but it hurt his ribs.

"hey man." fake smiled soda. he was good at faking it.

"what happened soda?" i said grabbing his hand.

he looked at me with a concerning look. like the kind when your mom tells you that your dad cheated on her, but she didn't want to tell you. like they are holding something back thats really fucking bad.

i stared at him. i hoped he would crack and he did or so i thought he was.

"listen val, i dont think i should tell you. can you uh please just get me some water?" he said covering up whatever happened.

i just got up and left and slammed the door. i had a plan though. he probably told darry, or pony, or maybe even steve. i could get one of them to fess something up.

i looked pissed and darry embraced me out of no where.

"listen kid, dont think about what he did too much. just stay away from him." he said rubbing my back. i pushed away from him.

"who did what?" i asked.

"shit." he said while putting his hand on his forehead. he grabbed my arm, not forcefully though. he sat me down and huffed.

"val you know i care for you kid and im sorry for telling you to be hopeful about dal. he um, he cheated on you. he was telling a group of guys about what happened between you too, you know like the um stuff that happened last night, and they dared him to kiss a chick. he did it for money and soda saw it. him and soda got into and when someone tried pulling dallas off of soda, he punched the guy and he got ganged on." he waited for me response.

"okay well thanks for being THE ONLY ONE FUCKING HONEST WITH ME!" i yelled and i pushed those goddamn doors open so hard i thought i broke my wrist. i was truly tired of dallas. all the fighting and the lying ruined us. nothing he would say or do could make it enough for me to stay. i was truly done, and i meant it. i went to bucks.

he yelled at me from the bar, buck obviously knew i knew what happened. i grabbed all my shit and i dumped all his cigarettes out of the packs and stepped all over them. they were all broken. i took his fucking christopher off and placed it on his bathroom door handle. i was over it all. buck chased after me and pleaded with me, but i was over it like i said before.

i went home. my personal hell was better than anywhere else.