If i am made in sin
I am made to repent
If i am to repent i am to be forgiven
But if i am still engulfed in the sin that eats at me
have i truly repented
Each day is an insufferable loop
wake up, get ready, go to school, church,cry,sleep.Everyday for the past seventeen years of my life.
I ache for something to break the loop but nothing stops my suffering.
I was allowed one life to live by some malevolence above.
If i don't make it something worth remembering it was a waste.
right
i've always dreamed of a movies like life where i have friends to do crazy shit with but half my friends live oceans away
or are book characters i've decided to keep around in my head all day
i'm lonely
chronically
i have mo social interaction and it's crippling,the only people i've talked to the last days are the priest whom i confessed my sins to,and my self i look in the mirror so long my face begins to contort in horrific ways and it staggers to my body till i can't look in a
mirror for hours and i begin to feel unreal .
A boy at bible study has had my eye lately he had chin length dirty blond hair,freckles,green eyes with particularly long lashes,a greek-ish nose,and he dressed with confidence if that makes sense,his nails were painted black and gold,and he laughed and Father Mayweather during the revision of Leviticus.
I've been in the closet for a while,i like to believe i've always known.Girls never were the object of my attraction.I've always had an infatuation with boys i just thought i was jealous but i was just longing for something with one of them i wanted to be with a boy.
My Mother & Father are established people my fathers never home and my mother hasn't been the same since an argument her and my father had had she seemed empty i felt a sensed of loneliness in the house me and my mother shared it was too big and barely furnished.
i myself have been planning something
my demise
my escape from earth
my final chapter
my death
AN: 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝙚 𝙮𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙!!
YOU ARE READING
sin is love
Romancein small town Rustmeadow lives two boy who are the same age and go to the same church of them is Clay an openly out rambunctious deviant.And we have a george a god fearing introvert who's has a secret that's been eating him from the inside when two...
