A totally normal wedding day

A Totally Normal Wedding

Riz was excited this was the moment he was waiting for. It was just him, his child, Shion and now to be husband, Kaji. This was all he could ask for except he's actually aro and this is weird.

"I now pronounce yo-" "HOLD ON" Sans interrupted as he ran inside the house in Alabama where the wedding was located "I HATE YOU SANS!" Kaji yelled "SANS?!?" Shion screamed confused  "What is a skeleton's favourite place in New Zealand?" Sans asked "YOUR PUNS SUCK!" Riz replied "SKEL-ton" Sans said proud of the disaster he'd caused at the wedding. He proceeded to say a couple more puns before running out of the house due to him being chased by the FBI.

Before the wedding could continue a new figure stepped into the room, Shion immediately recognized her as their-child-but-not-their-child-Kuri? She walked near Shion to start a conversation. "There are types of dicks small, medium, big which one do you like?" Shion asked pretending that they didn't just deal with a skeleton making puns and interrupting a wedding "Boobs" Shion responded to their own question (How does that even work??) Kaji agreed that yes boob are amazing. "Why are we talking about boobs and dick?" Shion asked as if they weren't the ones bringing up the topic of boobs and dick. Kaji and Riz stared at them confused until Riz had an idea "let's not try to talk about dick, penis, balls and boobs!" Kuri was the first to be eliminated after 30 second due to talking about how dicks and tits are important to her, Riz was second after making a cock joke, Shion was also eliminated making Kaji the winner.

After that game the people in the room started making jokes about what their ship names would be, most of them included cock, obviously. Kuri made a joke about stealing Shions man and Shion responded with "we don't need demon men, we need each other". They looked each other in the eyes and realization hit Shion. "I'm your parent though" "its not biological, I came out of someone else's pussy" Kuri responded (wtf Kuri) and they proceeded to kiss. While they were kissing Riz, who was tired of interruptions immediately took Kaji to continue their wedding (even though he's aro but whatever) but Kaji mentioned his actual partner Remy "who's Remy!?!" Kuri asked confused on who this person was. "Remy was a person who used to hangout with us"  Riz answered "they're also my partner" Kaji added. Mentions of the past made Riz nostalgic "hey remember Kinkmare my old crush? I wrote a whole page about them in my dairy" Riz informed Kaji. "I NEVER READ IT!?" Kaji said wondering how he never saw the page. "I think I may be able to find it hold on" Riz tried to look for the picture of it on his phone. While he was busy the others were talking about the place where they all met each other, it was owned by a person called Siri. "We must thank Siri for being the reason we all know each other" Shion said. While the others were busy talking Kinkmare, Riz's old crush showed up "hello dears~" Kinkmare said with a seductive voice as sexy music plays. "Oh my god hello, can we be besties??!?" Kuri asked as everyone else greeted the weird blob skeleton monster. "I FOUND IT!" Riz stated in a loud voice as she showed everyone the picture of the dairy page. It was terribly written and extremely dramatic in it past Riz talked about how they enjoyed the pain Kinkmare caused and how they liked it, almost everyone in the room laughed at it and Kuri commented about how Riz may be a masochist.

Remy, Kaji's actually lover had just showed up "What's going on?" They asked. As soon as they showed up Kuri commented about how Kaji and Riz are living the 'smutty Wattpad dream' after she said that she realised that she might have chosen a bad time "I shouldn't have said that" she stated out loud "hello Remy!" Kaji greeted his partner "IS THAT REMY FROM RATATOUILLE?!" Kuri shouted immediately. Riz, being absolutely terrified due to his childhood crush and the lover of the man he was going to marry appearing. "Oh fuck Remy's here, I'm gonna die and never come back!" He said very quietly "let me leave this country" Kuri said after Riz "this is Alabama we can't leave here sweetie~" Kinkmare informed the two "SHUT UP YOU CAUSED 99% OF MY LIFE PROBLEMS" Riz yelled at the tentacle creature, Shion started laughing after hearing that. "Its not my fault you fell in love with me" Kinkmare countered Kuri started laughing as well. Riz proceeded to yell insults at the creature and Remy threatened him by saying "shut the fuck up or I'll shove tentacle up your ass and out of your mouth and hang you over either a volcano or the pits of hell" Riz thanked them for the insult. "So violent for no reason~" Kinkmare complained Remy and Kuri didn't hear it properly though because they started arguing over who's more horny now Kinkmare joined and stated that he was the original horny person. Riz randomly started yelling "BITCH AS MOTHERFUCKING BITCH YOU LOOK LIKE THAT BIGASS FUCKING MARSHMALLOW OFF OF BIG HERO SIX GOING BALALALLAALA" which made Shion and Kuri laugh. "You people concern me I have no idea why you hate me~" Kinkmare said "YOU MADE ME HAVE A GAY CRISIS" Riz answered loudly "hunny you ARE gay you said it yourself now go make out with Horror~" Kinkmare teased "WE DIDN'T MAKE OUT I JUST TOOK HIM TO GET STEAK ONCE" Riz lied. "We are straight" Shion said falsely "you're as straight as a noodle" Kuri commented "straight as a circle~" Kinkmare added "we're all as straight as a line a toddler drew, don't give me that shit" Remy also added.

Remy remembered what Kinkmare said about someone making out with Horror, Kaji's old name was Horror "WHO MADE OUT WITH MY KAJI?" They screamed "not to point fingers but its Riz" Kaji told their partner. Shion was kissing Kuri in the background romantically. Remy, being angry that someone else made out with their partner looked at Riz "Riz." "Im just an innocent soul that never made out with anyone i swear!" Riz tried to talk their way out of it. "I remember when we were on the floor in the family's old house" Kaji said "I'm just an innocent soul who wouldn't think of making out with someone!" Riz continued to try to defend himself "you made out with a lot of people in the past" Kuri stated proving Riz wrong "SHUSH THATS IRRELEVANT" Riz tried to silence Kuri. "Riz I will pull a Sans on your ass" Remy threatened "STOP IM SORRY I'LL NEVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE AGAIN!" Riz apologized  "didn't you ask half of the men I know if they're single" Kuri proceeded to expose Riz "NOW YOU GUYS ARE JUST EXPOSING ME!" Riz shouted embarrassed "guys have you hear of the muffin man?" Kaji asked the group "the muffin man" Riz continued.

"Guys I'm a changed person I will never simp for men again." Shion Informed the group "bitch you're horny for Satan and Barbatos" Kuri interrupted their speech "LET ME FINISH MY SPEECH" Shion screamed "You've talked about Kaeya so many times" Kuri continued annoying Shion "you even barked over him" "I cheated on Kaeya" Shion admitted "I love Barbatos now"  "cheater" Kaji commented "Kuri is going after everyone" Riz joked "you want me to go after you too?" Kuri told Riz "I'm scared" Riz admits.

"Wanna kiss?" Remy asks their boyfriend "yes" Kaji replies they started kissing repeatedly "this is getting kinky" Kuri commented "Did someon-" Kinkmare said before being interrupted "that could be us Kuri" Shion joked "what do you mean thats already us" Kuri corrected then they kissed "remember our foursome with Niku and Yui?" Kuri asked "I forgot" Shion tells her child-but-partner  "WE DID IT SEVERAL TIMES HOW COULD YOU FORGET, we're doing another foursome" Kuri stated?

"Kinkmare my long lost hated lover" Riz said jokingly "hello my sweet ex~" Kinkmare responded "we didn't even date, you just called me Dusty and everyone thought that we were a couple" Riz informed Kinkmare "you're making it seem like we dated~ and we did almost hook up as well~" Kinkmare said. Meanwhile Shion and Kuri were having sex in the background which I will not describe. "YOU LEFT ME FOR SOME RANDOM PERSON IN THE CASTEL WHERE WE MET, I remember that day" Riz confronted the blob tentacle creature "Yes but she was also so sweet we even.." Kinkmare informed his ex who just stared at him with disgust "YOU'RE DEAD TO ME, THAT WHOLE PAGE WAS FOR NOTHING" Riz cried "it could've been you but I'm a slug with a t!" Kinkmare said. "I HAD AN ENTIRE GAY PANIC FOR YOU!" Riz told Kinkmare emotionally while Kuri and Shion were still making out in the background "YOU COULD'VE SAID YOU WANTED TO" Kinkmare continued arguing even though two people were fucking right next to them. Remy had also started making out with Kaji using hands, they were hand fucking (YES IT COUNTS KAJI). "I feel like a third wheel" Riz said "you are" Kuri answered. Then out of no where Niku showed up and joined them and Riz watched as he cried.

Such a happy ending.