Truth - Lashton

Chapter 28

Luke's POV

I looked at myself in the mirror before dinner. My stomach was putting out so much.. I felt awful about it. I gained weight and it absolutely showed.

"Luke! Michael's coming for dinner!"

My mum yelled up to my room,

"Okay!"

And I responded with that.

I slipped on a baggy sweater and went to my bed, letting my tears out. I hated how my body looked. I was making such a bad decision but I felt so much better eating those foods I've wanted for a while.

Me and Mikey got candy today and I was so happy eating it, why can't my brain just agree with me for once?

I want to live again and this isn't living at all.

"Luke, you okay, bud?"

Michael asked, peeping through my door. I jumped and gasped at his voice, not expecting it.

"You scared me!"

I said as I wiped my eyes.

"Sorry! You're crying though, what's up?"

"I feel big.."

"What? Because your body is finally being fed enough?"

I put my legs up to my chest and winced at how full my stomach felt. I hated it, I missed feeling empty.

"I don't wanna do this! I'd rather die!"

I shouted and grabbed my hair, growing hysterical again.

It was the truth, for once I was actually being truthful. I wanted to die to this rather than feel this way.

I felt arms hold me tightly and rock me softly, back and forth.

"It's okay.. It's just your disorder talking, not Luke."

Michael wasn't wrong either and I hated that too. I hated that he seemed to know more about Luke than I did.

"I don't know what to do! It's so scary!"

"I know it is but.. you can! You've showed me that you can!"

I didn't respond with anything other than crying. Michael just held me as I cried and I felt pathetic. This was all so stupid. How could eating of all things get so scary and difficult?

A few minutes passed by from Michael shushing me and rocking me, which did calm me down alot. I felt safe and a bit hopeful. I really wanted to try, at least try.

"I'm hungry again.."

I whined, Michael giving a soft chuckle.

"Well, I'm sure dinner is almost ready so.."

Michael picked me up and this time, it was disheartening how easy it was for him. I seemed like a feather to him and now, that wasn't really a good thing for me.

"Just in time! I made noodles."

My mum said and smiled at us, which we both greatly returned.

Michael sat me on one of the dining room chairs and I pouted, feeling like a baby to him now.

"I'm not your child, Clifford."

I spat, he laughed in return.

"I know! I just wanted too! Don't give me that pouty look either or I will treat you like a baby! You want me to feed you too?"

"Oh, shush it!"

I scoffed, trying to hide a laugh or a smile. I was saved by my mum who brought 2 bowls of noodles.

"Thank you!"

We both said in unison and I glared at Michael for that.

"Don't copy me!"

"You even act like a baby."

"Shush!"

I took a bite of my noodles with an angry, pouty look. It was all playful, at least I wanted it to be. I was just angry at Michael for no good reason.

"I was kidding, Hemmo. Don't worry, you're a very good adult."

He ruffled my hair and I tried to hit his hand with my head.

"Shut up."

Why in the hell was I genuinely angry? We do this all the time. I looked at Michael and he seemed shut off from my tone.

"I didn't mean too.. I dunno why I'm so angry.."

"It's alright, just wasn't expecting it. You're probably hangry if anything!"

I smiled at that, he was probably right. As a child, I'd always be fussy if I was hungry and I guess it hasn't changed.

I couldn't finish all of my meal as my stomach felt like it was gonna explode. I whined and wanted to curl up again but I couldn't.

"Full?"

Michael was leaning back in his chair snd his bowl was empty which I was envious of.

"Very.."

I pouted and put my head on the table in absolute distress.

I wish I never learned what a calorie was and I wish this road to recovery wasn't so damn bumpy.