Break My Heart Slow

Chapter 10 | Have To Say Goodbye

Chapter 10

Have To Say Goodbye

"...While I stayed at home still thinking we're together"

ELEANOR'S POV

I parked my car in front of Luke's black 4x4 truck and he's right there, leaning in the front door, hands inside his jacket's pocket, waiting for me. For a moment he didn't realized I was already there so I took that chance to look at him, analyze him, and for the first time, appreciate him. It has been a very long time since I visited their home, and it's still the same – the cream colored cozy house I used to go to since middle school. I suddenly missed his mom's delish cooking and the woman's Irish accent and her, of course. The two of them loves me being here. I don't know why I even stopped visiting them when I and Brandon started dating. I guess, it's unfair of me to forget these two important people in my life only because I have someone new. The two of them are like my best friends who are always there to listen to me and cheer me up whenever I feel lonely in our big but empty mansion. They fill up my need of having a family, but I changed everything, our close bond, since Brandon came.

Luke has always been there for me, but I only recognize his presence and not appreciate it. I failed to consider the fact that I should be thankful I always had him, whenever I needed someone who understands. Now I feel awkward, realizing that I'm only here whenever I need something from him.

He got his back off the wall the moment he heard the beeping sound of my car as I locked it. I don't know... but he kind of seemed stunned as I walked towards him. Thankfully, he realized I was too weak to move with my heels on so he rushed towards me, shaking off his jacket to put it around me.

"Who told you to wear such tiny clothing in this chilly weather, you idiot" he said as he rubbed his hands on my shoulders in attempt to keep me warm. Despite of his harsh words I can still feel his concern lacing in his voice. And surprisingly, I saw something more when his eyes looked into mine. It's... more than just a concern for a friend. There's longing... like missing someone so much.

I didn't say anything didn't bother to say Hi to him but he held my hand, lead me to their front door and said:

"My vanilla ice cream and Nutella are waiting for you, piglet" he bantered.

I just glared at him, but he just chuckled.

"... and of course, me. You know I'm always here for you" he said in his most sincere voice but still smiling like an idiot. I don't know how he even does that, but I guess that's how things go with Luke. His jolly expression won't ever fade no matter what kind situation we're in.

"You know what, he's a useless arsehole. Screw him" He said, pointing his parfait spoon at me. I told him everything and he silently listened to me. Its one thing I like about him, he'll just sit there, eat ice cream and listen. "- I mean, I know we have to understand Lily's condition, but he shouldn't just leave his responsibilities to you"

"Responsibilities? He had a responsibility to me, you think?"

"'course" he answered confidently, moving off from the bar stool to the refrigerator.

I followed my glance at him, waiting for him to continue his "words of wisdom" as he call it.

"-Not just for the fact that he was your boyfriend. That's a given, you know. But also, he left you with so many promises El. It's his responsibility to keep those promises, to put his words into actions. The moment he said a tad bit of holding on words to you, your heart becomes his responsibility"

"Wasn't it my fault that I believed in him?"

"No. Of course not." He said whilst putting anotherpint of ice cream in front of me. "You're a girl, El. It's absolutely normal for you to believe in a boy's promises. Especially to the boy you love." He looked away when he said the last words. Then it hits me. Those series of words from Luke gave me so much realization than my mind even expected. It hits me, through the heart.