I Saw You

Part 2

It's a Sunday, which means most of our group is dealing with the hangover from our hang out last night. Every Saturday we get together and either smoke a shit ton or drink a lot.

I didn't go this week though. Only Evan, Ashley, Gina and Maddie know why, and I can't thank them enough for keeping this to themselves.

My mom tried to wake me up to go to the beach with her, but I had just mumbled a 'no' to her and turned over in my bed. She couldn't have forgotten could she? I mean, it's two days of the year, and they're literally one after another. It's not that hard. It's just March nineteenth and March twentieth. I mean considering she married the man you think she would remember when his birthday is and when he died. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk about it. They didn't get off on the best terms before the divorce.

I grabbed my vape from under my pillow and took a few hits before going onto my phone so that I can maybe stop feeling as shitty this morning. That's the thing I hate about vaping. Once you get addicted, it more so just becomes a burden. It's not fun or cool anymore. I wake up feeling like actual shit because when you sleep your body starts to flush the nicotine out of your system and you start to go through early stages of withdrawal. But then when you get nicotine back into your system, it resets the timer.

I text my friends to let them know I'm finally awake at one in the afternoon, and then I lug myself out of bed and into the bathroom so I can pee and wash my face. After I finished washing my face I debated whether or not to put makeup on. I decide against it because I will most likely end up crying it all off if I put any on.

As I'm walking downstairs to make my coffee I can hear my brother Maddox outside working on his car. I feel the light rumbling of the floor as he revs the engine, and with each step I take the sound of his car gets a little louder. I hear Sam in his room playing video games but I don't say hi to either. We've never been the type of family to talk about our problems, we don't talk about them to each other at least.

I add my milk and sugar to my coffee and let it brew while stirring it. I wonder if my friends are doing anything today, maybe they're all together while I'm her moping around my house like a depressed little bitch. It's been four years and you think I would be over it but nope.

I make jokes about him all the time with my friends, but it still really hurts. He died when I was eleven. He's missing practically my whole life and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. Unless some scientist has discovered how to bring back the dead after quite some time, I think I'm gonna have to deal with it.

I bring my coffee back to my room and plop back onto my bed. I scrolled aimlessly on Tik Tok for a while before I decided to grab a book from my shelf to read. I ended up grabbing one of my favorites, The Bookshop of Second Chances. It's kinda a cheesy romance but it's just so sweet. I've read this book at least four times already but it's just so amazing.

I miss when my dad would take us to the bookshop right across from his apartment. I was too little to appreciate its beauty but I can't wait to go back. It's a used bookstore, so the books have already been loved by previous people, but I really adore how they resell them for so cheap because we get the opportunity to read such great novels and save money and all of the words in the books are the same, so who cares what the outside looks like?

I sit alone in my room reading for hours on end till my mom gets back to the house. I peek out my window and see her car in the driveway. The front door opens, then shuts, then, "I'm home Lu!"

"Hi mom," I yell back. My room is right next to the kitchen, which is where our front door opens to, but we always just yell anyway because my door is always shut.

My mom's footsteps on the stairs tell me to put my book down and sit up because she's coming up the steps to my room. "Do you want to go bring the card to your dad?" She asks me. She knows that I just got up a few hours ago and that I haven't left the house yet, so it was nice of her to offer to drive me.