Just The Two of Us

One

I was scrolling on YouTube one day when a particular video had crossed my vision.

A plump bodacious man was in the YouTube frame, presumably sticky and thick fingers strangling a grease-dripping burger with nearly white knuckles, cheese sauce slathered all over his chubby rosy cheeks.

Heat immediately rose to my face as my knee bobbed restlessly, clicking on the YouTube video with a shaky hand, my cursor moving wildly across my laptop screen as my knees slowly grow weak.

I stare intently at the pixels for a moment, completely entranced in this man baby's obtuseness, how his voice becomes squealy as he complains about how his body is just fat with water weight, stepping on a scale to prove his skinniness. IT'S JUST WATER WEIGHT sits similarly across his too-small red t-shirt that stops far above his bellybutton.

A streak of static-y numbness shoots through my thighs as I watch this man greedily chew on a handful of fries with his mouth open, showing the whole world his pearly whites that now has potato-mush sticking to them, red streaks of ketchup swirled in this ungodly mixture.

I can feel a bead of sweat roll down my face as I clamp down on my bottom lip to refrain from gagging from the sheer attractiveness of this man, and I find myself hungry to know this plump man's name.

More Nikocado Avocado

The username reads, a cute little doodle of a sentient avocado as his mascot.

"Nikocado." I moan out, scouring his description for his socials.

Clicking on the link to his Twitter handle, I immediately send his private Twitter a follow request and move my mouse to hover over the DM button.

A faint ding! erupts from my phones speakers, and the screen lights up to show that @nikocadoavocado had approved your follow request.

With this confirmation from fate itself, I immediately scurry to send him a direct message.

Hey Nik! I came across your YouTube channel recently and I just wanted to let you know that in the short amount of time I discovered you, I immediately fell in love with you. :)
10:35PM ✓

It doesn't take long for Nikocado to message me back.

Hey. I saw your ig and you're cute. Want to collab
10:36PM
💟

My breath hitches as I quickly double-click the message, the whole situation making me feel faint as I type up a response with my shaky hands, nervousness causing sweat to cascade down my forehead.

I would love to! ❤️
10:36PM ✓
💟

You type back, hesitating before adding the red heart emoji.

He'll understand it's a friendly gesture, I assure myself mentally, a small smile making my rosy cheeks stretch upwards.

If this goes off without a hitch, I'll bag myself a fat rich sugar daddy, my grin stretches even further as I roll away from my desk and towards my bed whilst in the office chair, lazily picking myself up from the faux-leather seat and flipping onto my bed, completely ignoring the sweat stains on said chair.

Tomorrows going to be fun, I sigh, finally dozing off as I stare up at my ceiling.