Tough Love

A look at the past

After that night, the heart to heart I had with my dad we moved past everything together and as a family. Years flew past and I was finally eighteen it was the summer after I graduated and I didn't start school until the fall.
Sometimes I look at my life and think how it would've been if joe didn't get caught, sometimes I wonder when he ever get out will he come for me just for telling  and getting him locked up. Everybody says snitches get stitches and we'll I snitched. Sometimes I still think about the nights when he would come in drunk and wake me up in the middle of the night. I remember the night he took my virginity, the night he took everything from me. The night he took my sanity, that night all I did was cry and wonder why this was happening to me.
I would cry late night sometimes even scream into my pillow. Life wasn't supposed to be like this, I wished for my mom I wished for a better home, and that's what I got a better home with a father that loves me. After everything that has happened to me I've never went looking for love I never searched for it, I could never fully trust a man with my body, I could never want a bond deep enough only because of my fears of trying to love somebody, that would only use me for my body.
But I'm not going to lie, I thought going to college would be easy to forget about everything that happened to me, but honestly it made it worse some how because all the boys here just hit on girls or always throwing parties or drugged girls. I don't go to many parties or have many friends I only have the same to friends rose and Ariel.
They are my best friends since middle school the only friends I've mad since I been living with my dad. Your probably wondering if there's a boy that I'm interested in? Well to answer your question I wouldn't say interested I would say fond of him. But that's another story for another day. But I can't wait to start college this fall, yes I know it sounded like I'm in college already but that was just the outside look. I start college next week and y'all I'm so nervous me and my best friends got accepted into the same college and it's the university of Florida. It's been my dream school to go to for as long as I could remember.