February 14, 2011
It's Valentine's Day and it's our First Promenade as a Junior.
That night. I'm hoping that one of them will be my first dance. But unfortunately, no one danced me among the two of them. It really hurt me so freakin' bad. And what worst is, my first dance is my last suitor.
B1 promised to me that he'll dance me that night when we were still sophomores. But what? What happened to that he called promise? Nothing. Promise is nothing. Promise is non sense. And now, I do believe that promise are meant to be broken. Ouch.
Though B2 did'nt promise that he'll dance me, I'm still hoping. Beacause for a long time, he's in love with me. But the fuckin' truth is, not anymore. He's awake in his fantasies. Does he moved on already about that feelings for me? If that's the case, i'm happy for him.
Am I really happy? Hmm. I don't think so. I only want that I'm the one. I'm the only one in his life.
Im so selfish right? That's fact, not fuck. But I'm not in love with him. It can't be. Never be. I'm just the kind of girl who's selfish when it comes to him. I relly don't know why do I have to feel all those shits. I've never imagined that it's kinda painful. It hurts.
I almost cried because of that. Because no one among the two danced with me. It hurts. I'm really thankful that my friends are always there to make me laugh. My tears fade because of them.
I can't still move on about that. I sat there and wait for them until the very last. I did'nt moved there. I only sticked there because I'm waiting. But .. That was an ouch.
I assumed.
B3 is my first dance. I'm not really shocked that he'll dance me. Because he already told me that he'll dance me back then. What I did'nt expected is that, he will be my first dance. I hate it. I really do.
But as time goes by, I felt happiness.
He courted me four months ago before our prom. But I was'nt able to answer him because he stopped. And I don't know the exact reason why. I cried bacause of that. I love him more than I love myself. I never try to control my feelings for him because I know that, that time, he's also in love with me as I'm in love with him.
Going back to our prom, it only takes a minute when we were dancing together, a second when we were talking to each other. And ofcourse, I again felt happiness. For about four months, that was our first conversation. Even if it only takes a senconds. And I think for the very last time, I was able to touched his soft right hand.
I really miss the way he smile. The way he talk to me. The way he treated me like her princess. The way he protected me. The way he respect me. And mostly, the way he loved me. In short, I do miss you badly. I really do. And I also want to get back our friendship.
But one thing I really want to know, why do I'm still missing you? Why do I can't forget everything about our past? Everything about you. Why? Maybe I still love you? Is that how much I love you? But why? I did everything I can just to forget those damn feelings for you! Is'nt that enough? But why? Why? I hate you!
My first promenade was so emotional.
***
Authors Note:
My first one shot story. Haha. Madaming maling grammars diyan. Dispensa. XD
Comment and vote readers! Thanks. :)
God bless.
PS: Please do read my NTS story though it is still on going. THANK YOU. :))
