Is it worth It though?

New begining

On my 30th birthday i made a life changing decision that i wont longer chase the dream life i have always dreamed of. I was someone who was intrested in everything but not anything. Yeah thats bit confusing i know but that was who iam. I always watched movies,,play games,reading poetry,writing songs sometimes but i didnt knew what was my "passion" like all these people say.

All are good at anything, they chase their dreams achieve their goals 
but for me i had no goals nor dream i dont have a single idea on what i should focus from now on after i let down the fantasy dream i had in my mind i should search for that. Yeah that thought came into my mind and i decide to search that.

I started to write more stories read more books and i even try to record my self singing...It was really awkward though. But i dont find a permenent intrest in any of this for me the so called "passion" is sometimes songs,sometimes its stories, sometimes its video games sometimes its singing but deep down i knew that i am not good at any of this.

After a countless hours of searching my true passion i really realised that it was a waste of time and i decided to change the mood. So i decided to go on a trip. But my stupid mind again began to ask questions "where are we going"

For FUCK SAKE i want to get rid of overthinking so i decided to go on a trip without any destination in mind. I had nobody my family was in my home land and i have lost contact with all of my friends so i was kinda free bird (desperate loner). I am pretty sure i was not high even though i resigned from my jobe (dont know even why i didd that) i pack all my stuff locked my appartment and walk down my building to somewhere without any reason trying to find something.

I took a can and went to the airpot and took a flight kerala(a south indian state) where i grew up on my teenage. But there was an another reason. A fairytale that happened in my life. A fairy i had searched for 5 years......