⚠️WARNINGS⚠️
• Self harm
• Throwing up
• Harmful thoughts
• Mental Instability
Spoilers post s2
Inspired by the song Hard Feelings by Poppy
******
Hunter lays down on the pallet in the Noceda's living room, Augustus sleeping soundly on the couch above him. The platinum blond couldn't sleep, his mind plagued with so many thoughts and questions. He tried not to think about it in the daytime but late at night where everyone was sleeping, Hunter couldn't help it. The boy sighs and turns over, eyes locking onto the staff places by the front door. Ever since they crossed over to the human realm their palismen stayed fused to their staffs, magic unable to work unless something or whatever, Hunter hadn't played attention.
The blond wished Flapjack would just appear and snuggle his soft feathery body against his cheek and chirp in his attempt to comfort him. Instead he just cuddled onto the stuffed bear Luz had gifted him, the softness of the plushed toy doing its job and comforting Hunter. Wasn't as good as Flapjack but, it was good enough for now. The teen flips around again but still couldn't fall asleep. He wasn't sure if he wanted to fall asleep anyways, scared that he'd be haunted with nightmares of what transpired over these past few weeks.
Just thinking of it made Hunter's stomach lurch with anxiety and fear. Afraid he'd be losing the dinner Luz's mother made them all he rushes to the bathroom. The blond turns on the light just as he spills his guts into the toilet, thankful that the 20th century technology could make the sickness go away with just a simple pull of a lever thing. Hunter gags once more as he leans over the sink to wash his mouth out with the mouthwash Luz showed him how to use. He spits and rinses before looking up in the mirror, the luminescent light of the bathroom making his skin look sickly green.
He stared at his reflection for a long time, seeing every flaw and scar. The prominent eyebags of his only became worse after a while, due to him not being able to sleep. He pokes and prods at his face, feeling at the smooth skin with a frown. As a...grimwalker he didn't understand why he looked so real. Well, normal at least.
Deep inside Hunter knew he was anything but normal. He just didn't understand how he could look like this and be a replica of someone else. Someone else that Belos had lost and apparently wanted by his side. If he wanted him so bad then why kill every single one after they betrayed him? Simply like The Collector said, he must've enjoyed it after a while.
At that thought Hunter's eyes teared up, a pressure in his chest building in his attempts to stay quiet. He slumps down against the sink and buries his face in his knees, shoulders shaking as he silently cries. His hands come up to put his hands in his hair, their grip tightening as he gets more and more emotional. He doesn't understand these feelings, just as he doesn't understand what he even is. All this time he thought he was a witch just like everyone else, just like his uncle had said he was.
Hunter chokes at that, tears blurring his vision. After all this he still called Belos his uncle. He didn't know what he was to that sick monster. Part of him wishes he was still alive so he could ask why, why he created him as a replacement? What did the previous golden guards do that made them get killed?
Had they befriended people that defected from the emperor too and then got killed for it? He saw all those bones and masks in Belo's mind, there must have been hundreds before him. Since Hunter was the latest and the last, it was safe to assume he was the only one that succeeded in running away. It made him feel sad for the past guards, each of them eventually feeling how he felt right now.
Could he even bleed? Hunter blinks at the question in his mind, staring at his pale arm with a blank expression. He thinks back to all the scars and injuries he's had before. He would've remembered if he bled or something, right? Surprisingly, him bleeding didn't come to mind when he thought back.
Either he was really good at avoiding bleeding or he couldn't. He had to test this theory of his. Hunter stood up and opened the mirror cabinet, staring at it's contents with intent on finding a certain object. Grunting when he couldn't find it, he took to the sink drawers. There he found a razor, another one of the 20th centuries inventions that Luz introduced him to.
The teen took it out and inspected the object, fishing out of the metal pieces out. He hissed as it sliced his finger, a pale red liquid oozing out of his wound. He watched in fascination as it trickled down his finger and onto his palm. His finger was throbbing but Hunter paid no mind to it, instead taking the blade and putting it to his arm. He was about to do it when a knock on the door startled him, making him slice down deeper than he wanted to.
"Hunter?" Gus questioned through the door when heard the elder boy yelp. "Is everything okay?"
"Y-yeah everything's fine," Hunter replies, voice cracking as he feels the pain in his arm. "I-I just-ah frick, this really hurts..."
"What hurts?" Gus asks, panic in his voice. "Did you get injured, should I go get Luz?"
"N-n-no don't please," Hunter practically begs, not helping his case. "I-I just stubbed my toe alright? I'm okay, really!"
"Then unlock the door." Gus says as the doorknob rattles.
Hunter panicked, not knowing what to do. He grabs a towel and wraps it around his arm, the blood seeping through the white cloth. Hunter gasps and hides his arm behind his back, hoping Gus wouldn't notice. He breathes in deeply, ignoring his ebbing arm and opens the door. Gus is in front of him immediately and questions him.
"What's up with your arm?" Gus asks, Hunter freezing up.
"N-nothing," Hunter lies, albeit badly. "I'm perfectly fine."
"Then show me."
The brown skinned boy puts his hand out to grab Hunter but the elder moves back. Gus is quick to retaliate and grabs Hunter's arm, making the blond whimper out in pain. Gus's eyes widens and he calls for Luz loudly, waking everyone up in the process. Hunter couldn't help but be ashamed and embarrassed, hugging himself and hiding his face as he cries.
Surprisingly no one tells at him or berates him. Luz tears up and hugs him, careful of his arm. Camilla, Luz's mom comes in and helps wrap his arm up in bandages. Then she ushered everyone else out to talk to Hunter alone. Hunter is stiff, the only time being alone with an adult was when he was with Belos and that was never fun.
"Hey querido, let me help you with that finger," Camilla says, gently lifting Hunter's hand and putting a colorful bandaid on his finger. "There, all better. Now, may you tell me what happened?"
"W-well I...I don't know," Hunter says, looking down at his lap. "I just..."
Looking back, it was a stupid idea to do what he did. He didn't want to really hurt himself he was just, he honestly doesn't know. The boy tears up and Camilla allows him to cry on his shoulder. When he finally cries himself out, Camilla helps him up and onto his pallet. She wished she could get him a bed but, they had to make do with what they had with so little room.
"Is he okay Mama?" Luz asks, worry in her eyes as she clutches onto Amity's hand tightly.
"He will be," Camilla says, hoping to comfort her daughter and her friends. "Now it's time for everyone to go back to bed, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. Get some sleep kids, everything will be okay."
The kids nodded, with Luz hugging her mother before leading Amity, Willow and Vee back to her room. Gus lies back down on the couch, thanking Camilla before laying down. Camilla smiles sadly at the boys in her living room, then looking to Luz's room. She goes back to her room and lies down, heart aching for these kids. In the morning they have plans to make but until then Camilla promises herself that she will protect these kids no matter what.
