Dearly Beloved

Chapter 1: This Means Business

"I'm okay."

I must have mumbled those words a thousand times just weeks before this. Things were different this time. I wasn't sitting down on the couch for the third time this week with a tub of ice cream in my hand watching the third season of pretty little liars. I was standing in front of the mirror dressed in black. People kept calling all week to ask me if "I was okay?" and if I was "getting through it?" I thought hard about just cutting ties with everyone I knew at that point. How easy it would have been to just pick up and leave everything and everyone I loved. Alexander was my only reason to even stay in this city. The funny thing is, it was always the city that I had hated the most. 

I finished looking in the mirror and giving a little spin looking at my outfit before I had to leave. I was startled by a honk outside. I looked out the window to see my brother standing outside of his car resting his arm on the driver door. I had completely forgot I had asked him to come and pick me up incase I had decided not to attend this evenings events. A few last minute checks to make sure I had everything that I needed and I was headed out the door. 

I was greeted by my brother holding his arms wide open awaiting his deep embrace. Reluctant at first I took a step back but the sincere look in his eyes made it seem like time stood still. I dragged my feet into his warm embrace. "Laura. I'm so glad that you decided to go through with this." He pulled himself away from the embrace and held me by my shoulders. He took a long look at me and a small but pained smiled crossed his face. "The family has been worried about you lately, you haven't been replying to anyone's messages." I took his hands and relocated them back at his side. I proceeded to climb into the back of his Prius. 

"Laura! It's so nice to see you again. How are things going? I know your husband just died but you are looking fantastic! I mean who needs him anyways? You know you were always better than he was." My face pained. I was fighting the urge to scream at her. 

"Rebecca, please stop. She has been through more than all of us could imagine." 

Rebecca and David have been together for 6 years. She might be "family" but I have never viewed her that way. She has always been insensitive to everyone else's feeling, and says whatever she thinks. Even when she got pregnant with my brothers kid he was the happiest person I knew. That was until the miscarriage. My brother was heartbroken and couldn't get out of bed for 3 day! Rebecca just blocked everything out and brought up the miscarriage too often at family gatherings or wherever she wanted. I watched my brother break again and again. It wasn't until Christmas 3 years ago that I finally called her out on her pity party. She has had beef with me ever since but she never brings up around the family or my brother. 

As we drove to the cemetery where my late husband was to be buried my brother turned on the radio to the station we used to listen to as kids. I watched him look in the rearview mirror at me while he did some stupid dance, wiggling his shoulders back and forth. It was unmistaken, Cotton Eye Joe was playing. It was a song we hadn't heard in so long, but it didn't matter if he didn't remember the lyrics he was trying to put a smile on my face. Rebecca was obviously feeling the music and start to dance with her husband as well as she could in her seat. I didn't understand why she did that, she had to strip whatever happiness out of my body. 

I sighed and looked out the window. As we approached the cemetery, I started to remember all the memories with my husband. Dancing in the kitchen in our underwear, playing small harmless pranks on the mailman, cuddling up on the couch watching some show neither of us payed attention to. We talked about the future and having kids, possibly moving, and dying gray and old together. He'd always say "Why move? It doesn't matter where we go, we will always be able to see the sun, moon, and stars." I never knew exactly what the meant.