Ana
I step off the scale.
142 lbs. That's a healthy weight for a girl my height and age. I put my dark green sweatshirt back on, and leave the bathroom. I grab my bag and put on my shoes, and head for school.
I walk to school, so I'm pretty fit and I'm a good size. I think about biology and my other classes as I walk the mile to school.
When I get to school, I drop off my backpack in home room, and go down to the cafeteria. I barley ate anything this morning. I grab a cinnamon roll, and sit at a table uninhabited with people.
"Eating that much? You are such a fatass." Some guy says as he passes behind me. I ignore him. Everyone is mean and rude in school.
I see a beautiful girl walking toward me. She has long, golden hair, and is very tall and very thin. She is perfect.
"Is this spot taken?" She says. I shake my head no. She pulls out the chair, and takes a seat. She is so graceful. It's amazing. She looks at me, and smiles a nice smile.
"Hi." She says "I'm Ana. Nice to meet you." I shake her hand. It's warm and soft.
"I'm Charlie. Good to meet you too." I say, and let go of her hand. She isn't looking at my face anymore. She is staring at my cinnamon roll.
"Are you really gonna eat that? It's full of calories." She says slowly. I look at her. She has a perfect body and is beautiful. And she is so nice. Maybe I should take her advice. I stand up, and throw the cinnamon roll away after only eating two bites.
"That'll make you a lot happier. Can I eat lunch with you?" Ana asks. I would usually say no, but I want to spend a lot of time with her. She smiles at me, waiting for an answer.
"Of course! I'd love to eat with you!" I say, much more cheerful and exited then I thought I would be. The warning bell dings, signaling everyone to head to first period.
Ana smiles at me. "Perfect. See you then!" She gives me a smirk, and leaves. She is such a cool person. I hope we become friends.
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I take my seat in math, and get out my note book. I'm sort of listening to Mr. Chan, who is my favorite teacher, but I can't stop thinking about Ana. Her hair is fine, and her smile shows off her beautiful white teeth. Maybe she will come over to my house soon. I just met her and I think about her all the time.
"Charlie?" Mr. Chan says, and I snap out of it. "Can you answer this question?" He says, knowing that I was not paying attention.
"Um, I don't know the answer for that one." I say quickly, and look at my desk. Mr. Chan gives a disapproving look and chooses another student. The first thing I think of is Ana. She's all I think about.
When class gets out, I search the hallway with my eyes to see if I can see her anywhere. I don't find anyone with long golden hair. The rest of my classes until lunch pass, and when I get to the cafeteria I find Ana waiting at our table for me. I smile, and hurry towards her.
"There you are." She says. "I have something to talk to you about." I put down my bag, and pull out a chair.
"Okay. I m gonna grab some food first." I say, but she grabs my wrist.
"Food will just make you bigger. Listen to what I have to say." Ana lets go, and I take a seat. "I'm thin. I know. And I know that you want to look just like me. I can help you be just as skinny as me. Just trust me." She remarks. I'm not really fat. But I don't exactly have a small frame. I have always wanted to be the stick girl. She's always so pretty. And this is my chance.
"Of course. What do I do?" I say, full of hope. I can finally be beautiful, just like Ana.
"We will start out slow. Just don't eat lunch today. And be careful of dinner." She ordered. I nod. We spend the rest of lunch talking about normal things. She is going to walk home with me tomorrow and she's gonna give me tips on how to lose weight. The bell rings, and I say bye to Ana and head to my next class.
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As I walk home, I can't stop thinking about Ana coming over. She is gonna make me skinny. I will finally be pretty. I open my front door, and my corgi comes to greet me. I pet him, and go upstairs to my room. I set down my bag, and head downstairs to get a snack. I'm look at the carpet, but halfway down I stop. Ana said I should eat lightly. I guess I can wait until dinner...
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"Charlie! Dinner!" I hear my mom yell. I put away my sketchbook and pencil, and get off of my bed. I walk down to the kitchen, and smell beef. I think back to Ana. Maybe I won't eat very much tonight. I get a very small plate, and put a small bit of meat and half of a non buttered roll.
"Are you feeling all right honey?" My dad asks, concerned. I don't know what to tell him. I can't tell my parents about Ana making me look better. They will get mad and try and get rid of her.
"I had a big lunch. I'm fine." I lie, and smile at my dad. I quickly eat a few more bites, and I hurry back to my room.
I open the bedroom door, and go to my bed. No matter what I do, Ana is on my mind. I don't know why I think about her so much. I draw some more, and soon it's 10:30. I put down the sketch book, and I turn out the light and fall asleep.
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BLEEP. BLEEP BLEEP.
I hit off on my alarm clock. I slowly drag myself out of bed, and put some clothes on. Both of my parents are gone, so I think about weighing myself. I decide against it. Of course I'm not gonna lose weight in just one day. Maybe I'll check later.
I put on a grey shirt, and some skinny jeans. I don't quite have a thy gap, but I'm not far. Maybe Ana will help me achieve that. I go into the bathroom, and run a brush through my brunette hair. It's goes down to the bottom of my ribs. I apply mascara and eyeliner around my dark blue eyes. I go to my room, and grab my bag. I go to the kitchen to grab breakfast, but when I get there, I only eat half a granola bar.
I walk to school, and keep a look out for Ana. When I walk inside, she is near the door.
"Can I still come over after school?" Ana questions. I smile and nod.
"My parents aren't going to be home, so we have the house to ourselves." I reply. She smiles. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I get it out, and see a text from my mom.
Dad and I won't be home til 11. Get yourself some food and go to bed on time.
I reply telling her not to worry, and put away my phone.
"Who was that? Ana asks. I tell her about my parents being out late. When the warning bell rings, she walks away quickly.
"Bye!" I yell, and she turns around and smirks. I head for first period, my mind filled with thoughts about Ana.
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"Here. This one is my house." I say as Ana and I walk into my yard. I hear barking coming from my door, and recognize it as my dog.
"This is my dog, pickles." I say, as pickles runs out to greet Ana. She squats down, and pets him. When she stands up, we go inside.
"My room is upstairs. First door on the left." I say full of excitement. "I'm really glad you could come over." I practically skip up the stairs. She goes into my room, and sets down her green and brown bag.
"First tip: Watch the calories." Ana says. I smile and nod. She goes on for a very long time with a list of rules. No eating past seven. Drink lots of green tea. Take your vitamins so you don't become malnourished. If you're hungry, drink water and think of how nice that thy gap will look. I take notes, and skip dinner. The night is full of advice on how to burn calories. When she has to leave, my head is full of thoughts about Ana. I sleep and that's what I think about.
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2 months later.
I step on the scale.
121 lbs.
I'm still fat. I need to lose more weight. Ana comes over all the time. My parents have no idea what we do with our time. Sometimes I'm bad, and I eat more food then I should. So I purge. It makes my throat burn, but as long as I get skinny I will be fine. My parents are worried about me. I convince them otherwise.
I run to and from school everyday, so I can burn calories. I always count calories and make sure I don't have more then 500. If I do, I purge.
I only trust Ana. A few people at school have been asking me if I have some disease. I tell them no. I just have my best friend Ana.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I want to cry. There is an ugly fat girl staring back at me. I listen to everything Ana says. She is so smart and she's really kind. But sometimes she scares me. But that's okay. She is still perfect.
I became a vegetarian. Now I have an excuse when I don't eat dinner. Usually my parents make something with meat, so I can just eat a small portion of the side dish. Ana is my savior. She is making my life better.
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1 month later.
106lbs
I'm still too fat. I've lost almost forty pounds since I first met Ana, but it's still not enough. I need to get under 100. That's my goal at the moment.
I'm scared of Ana. She's really forceful. But I know that she is trying to help me. I go down stairs, and eat a few sticks of celery. That's all I get today. That and water and green tea.
I grab a water bottle, and go back upstairs. I want to eat. I think about eating all the time. But I can't. I would let Ana down. I want to eat so bad. But I can't. I don't know why I can't, but I can't.
Maybe just one small slice of pizza. I've been so good lately... I warm it up, and head to my room.
When I get back upstairs, Ana is in my room. She just lets herself into my house when my parents are gone. I look at the pizza in my hand. Ana's eyes are fixed on it.
"Really? You don't need that. Look at yourself. You. Are. Fat. Throw that away. You are a fatty who can't control herself. You eat all the damn time. Pretty girls don't eat. You are greedy, and now your gonna pay. STARVE!" She shouts at me. Tears spill over the edges of my eyes. I throw the pizza as hard as I can into the garbage can. I lay on my bed, and try to wipe away my tears. Ana sits next to me, and gives me a hug.
"You're right." I whisper, rubbing my eye. "I am fat. I don't deserve to eat. I should starve." Ana lets go of me.
"It's okay. Next time your hungry, think to yourself Pizza or collarbones? Cake or that nice thigh gap? Chocolate or hip bones? Ice cream or a lovely flat stomach? Ugly fat girl or pretty thin girl?" Ana says. She leaves the room, and I fall asleep crying.
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3 weeks later
96 lbs.
I'm a fucking whale. I'll never be skinny.
I hate Ana. She won't let me do anything besides think about food. I want to cry every time I walk by my kitchen. I can't walk into the school cafeteria without wanting to go purge. I sit in my room, about to cry because I can't stand being with Ana. I look in the mirror. I'm wearing my grey sports bra so I will get an accurate weight when I weigh myself.
My parents are regularly taking me to a special doctor. He try's to get me to eat, so sometimes I do. Then when I get how I go to the bathroom and vomit.
I go to the kitchen, and grab a small red apple. I deserve that, don't I? I am about to take a bite, when Ana comes up behind me. The front door was unlocked.
"You don't deserve that. Food it just a nice way of looking at fat. Do you want to be fat? Your fat will just jiggle and crush all your bones." Ana coos in my ear. Her long golden-orange hair strokes my hips. She puts a hand on my collarbone, and puts the other hand over my mouth. "Remember what I said" she whispers, barley audible. "Pretty girls don't eat."
I stare at myself in the mirror. My make up runs down my face from crying. I drop the apple. I already had half a sandwich. I can't believe myself. I run towards the bathroom, and slam the door.
I drop to my knees in front of the toilet, and grab my tooth brush. I put it in my mouth, touch the back of my throat, and start throwing up. I don't stop. I do it over and over and over.
I just want to be skinny.
I fall on the cold tile ground. I threw up one too many times. I see Ana smile at me, as I close my eyes for the last time.
