ATTACK ON TITAN: 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗 // an erwin smith fanfiction

thirty /// levi

As I gallop into Norak Village, my heart plummets. I'm too late.

The scene I'm met with is a dismal one. A huge cloud of smoke billows from the center of the town, and dust hangs in a haze in the sparse pools of light from torches. All around, soldiers mill about in a panic, saddling their horses and packing supplies into carts in haphazard piles, shouting to one another in confusion. I pass a few who appear so dazed and terrified they've simply huddled into a ball on the ground, eyes wide and glassy.

My heart throbs with hot anger as I spot a huge, hulking figure retreating in the distance. With those long arms, awkward gait, round stomach... It's the Beast, no doubt about it. Zeke Jaeger.

The clear proof that Lailin and Hanji's hunch was correct brings no satisfaction. I grind my teeth together in frustration and push my horse faster. Every instinct singing through my body urges me to chase that bastard until I can catch him and kill him, but he's too far off now. Indeed, the Beast seems to be running, already hardly more than a matchstick on the tree-dotted horizon.

Right now, my priority needs to be Sofia.

When I finally reach the town center, it's even more of a shitshow than the rest of the town. Most of the damage seems to be concentrated around a collapsed manor house, which is ablaze. Silhouettes race around the flames, dragging crumpled figures to safety and tossing buckets of water on the burning building. 

I grab a soldier by the collar from atop my mount.

"Where's Squad Captain Jean? Or Armin?" I demand.

Her face is white in the patches not streaked with soot. "They're up by the manor. We've been given the order to retreat back to Dohna," she shouts back, her voice quavering but assured.

"Good. Continue with that order." I release her and turn towards the burning manor. Maybe Jean can tell me where the rest of my squad is -- including Sofia.

The stupid sonofabitch must have transformed inside the building, I think to myself as I survey the destruction. I hope everyone was able to escape okay, because my stomach turns at the thought of being trapped in the mangled, flaming debris.

Finally, I spot Jean stalking back and forth near the former front entrance to the mansion. His face has been carefully wiped blank of any emotion besides hard determination. Yet his uneasy strides remind me of a loyal guard dog pacing around its owner's deathbed. 

"Jean!" I call out to him. "What's going on? Where's my squad?"

"Sir!" His shoulders sag the tiniest bit with relief when he sees that it's me. "I'm not sure where the rest of them are, but I've got Armin with Sofia on a medic cart heading back to Dohna."

"What?! What's her status?"

"She's fine," Jean rushes to assure me, "I'm just worried about smoke inhalation. And shock. She was in the manor when it collapsed."

"She was in -- " I shake myself back into focus. I can't worry about the finer details right now; all I need to do is make sure Sofia is fine. Just like I promised.

"Keep going with the evacuation order," I advise the younger captain. "And tell me which way the medic cart went."

"I sent it off northeast maybe five-ish minutes ago. Aren't you going after the Beast?"

"Not now. I have to wait for Hanji's orders." 

It's becoming increasingly difficult to fend off the sibilating bloodlust that rumbles through my veins. But right now, it's more important that I keep my other promise to Erwin. The Beast has to wait for now.

Jean snaps me a salute as I pivot my horse into a northeasterly direction and take off. I feel bad for pushing the animal so hard, but little can be done about that.

Just as Jean had said, I catch up to the medic cart easily. I probably rode right past it earlier, though with the rest of chaos it escaped my notice. There's only about five occupants inside, none who seem too badly injured, and I spot Sofia and Armin easily.

"Sofia!"

Armin's head swivels towards me. He motions for the cart to stop and leaps out. 

"Captain! You saw the Beast Titan."

I swing down from my horse. "Yes. I suppose I understand the situation." I frown and sweep his soot-stained hair back from his face. His eyes are red, clothes and face creased with ash. "Are you all right?"

He ducks away from my hand. "I'm all right."

"And Sofia?"

He looks back at the cart, and I follow his gaze. Sofia hasn't stirred from her seated position, staring fixedly ahead of her. Her arms are wrapped protectively around her stomach, but I notice her legs are trembling badly.

"She's in shock, I think," Armin murmurs, his brow creasing. "The Beast went right for her. And right before it happened, it sounded like she was arguing with him -- Xander, or Zeke, or whoever. I'm not sure what he said to her, but she's shaken, for sure."

"I see." Foreboding trickles down my spine. I can only imagine what he said to her, and none of it's good.

I step around Armin and approach the cart. Sofia doesn't look up as I walk up beside her.

"Levi," she greets me in a small voice.

"Hey, kid. You all right?"

She jerks her head in a strange nod. "I'm fine."

She doesn't look it, though I don't say that aloud. Up close, I can pick out the beads of sweat lining her brow, the pale tinge of her skin. She wets her lips with her tongue.

"I wanted to kill him," she whispers. "God -- what does that make me? I wanted to kill him."

I don't reply. I know the feeling all too well; we've been bedfellows since my childhood. I can't yet decide if that feeling makes a man human or demon. 

"That's the last thing he saw ... that monster ..." Her lips begin to tremble more violently, and she falls silent.

A pain seizes my heart. It's true. Seeing the Beast Titan again renews my grief over Erwin's death -- my insecurity, my anger, my despair. I almost can't stand it. And it makes it so much worse knowing that she had to come face to face with it too.

I open my mouth to reassure her, but she interrupts me before I can begin.

"I want to chase him to the ends of the earth," she breathes. "I want to chase him down and rip him to pieces. I don't care. I don't care if I have to hunt him to the ends of the earth ... I wish I didn't feel sorry for it ... I wish I didn't care. I wish ..."

I place a hand on her shoulder. It's an uncharacteristically gentle gesture for me, especially considering the thirst for revenge that's simmering just beneath the surface of my calm facade.

"You can rest assured, Sofia," I vow. "Before my time on this earth is done I will see that man to his grave. I will be the one who sends him to hell. He will pay for what he has done, make no mistake. He will pay dearly."

She looks up at me. Her eyes are brown, wet with tears, like a shallow riverbed, speckled with flecks of grey like pebbles. I'd never noticed that before.

"We all will," she whispers. "We all have to live with regrets."