Swim Until You Love Me

Part IV

The party- was pretty enjoyable actually, I had to admit. I was really impressed by how nice Nicole was being to Belly. Maybe I judged her too quickly.

I was probably on my third beer and was talking to some friends when I heard Jeremiah turn on the karaoke machine. I grinned. Karaoke was always something Jere and I did together.

He dedicated the song to Belly and Cam. I smiled as Summer Nights started to play. The smile dropped as he asked Belly to sing along. She didn't look into it, but Cam got up and joined in. She rolled her eyes and walked away.

Huh.

*****

A while later she came up to me. She looked pretty upset. "Can we leave, Mads?"

I frown, "What's wrong?"

"Just- Can we just go home?" she asked.

"Umm, I'm kinda drunk. Lemme see if Conrad's down to leave." There's no way I was asking Jeremiah after he just ignored me for karaoke. I ask Belly to find Cam and step out.

Conrad says he's cool to drive. We dropped off Cam and reached home. Conrad and Belly immediately went off to their rooms. Belly still seemed pretty upset, I'd have to ask what that was about. I followed her up.

"Hey Bells what happened?"

"I caught Steven hooking up with Taylor," she replied.

"Wait what?"

"Yeah. And then Taylor just attacked me saying I always treated her like a side character or something. Which is crazy because back home, its always about her. The roles switch for like two minutes and she's already wigging out."

"I can't believe Steven made out with your best friend while he was still dating mine. That too on your birthday?" I yelled. "Unbelievable."

Belly scoffed. "I know right."

"That is beyond shitty."

*****

The next morning, I woke up a little later than usual. My head hurt a bit. I considered asking Jere to make me a smoothie, but no one was home.

Steven was sitting on the deck chairs. I walked up to him.

He saw me coming. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. Please don't tell her."

"You get why I said my girl code trumped? Its because you pull shit like this. What the hell, Steven?"

"I just- She's used to dating a completely different type of boys, okay? Boys who treat her like a queen. I can't do that, can I? You said 'be myself' and-"

"And what? You knew what she was like when you got into this." I said. I felt bad for him though, I could tell he was sorry. "Look I won't tell her. But you better clean up your act. Offer what you can, Steven, not what you think she wants."

He smiled.

"Where's mom?" I asked.

*****

Mom and Susannah really did have a beautiful friendship. I envied it every time I saw them like this. Just chilling, talking on the beach. No judgements. I went closer, hesitating to interrupt them.

"I knew you said you didn't wanna do chemo, but-" I heard Mom say.

"I'm not putting myself through treatment again. I know how much time I have left," Susannah replied.

My eyes widened. No. It couldn't be. Their voices faded away as I remembered. How she looked off, slept more, was breathless or how she was coughing the other day. No. I clapped a hand over my mouth and quietly backed away. There was no way in hell this was happening.

I broke into Susannah's room looking for God knows what. I needed something- bills, documents, letters, anything solid- to show me that this was actually happening.

And there it was- a sheet of paper that would change everything. Susannah's diagnosis confirming her cancer.

And it was dated to this March.

My knees gave out as I fell to the floor with a thump. I clasped my hand over my mouth, trying not to let my sobs get too loud.

"Mom?" The door opened to reveal Conrad. He looked at me on the floor and then at the paper in my hand.

"I-" I began to explain, but just ended up sobbing harder.

"Mads," came his soft reply. He was kneeling next to me now.

"I'm so sorry Conrad-"

"It's ok."

I look up at him- and then it dawns on me. He already knows.

"When did you find out?" I ask him.

"This April."

"Why didn't you say anything? Why isn't she saying anything?"

"She wants to keep it to herself. Have one last perfect summer. I was just trying to respect that."

I nodded. I felt bad for giving him so much shit for acting weird all summer. "Conrad, I'm sorry-"

"It's ok, you didn't know. You couldn't have."

I offered him a weak smile and he hugged me tight. "I'm glad you know now."

I heard someone coming up the stairs. I looked at Conrad, alarmed.

"Pick up all the stuff, c'mon," he said.

We quickly put everything back when we heard Susannah right at the door.

"Shit. Let's go out the window and then onto the roof," I said to Conrad.

"There isn't time!"

And just as Susannah turns the door knob, Conrad grabs the back of my neck, leans in and kisses me. Straight on the lips.

"Oh!" Susannah said.

Conrad and I jerked apart.

"Oh hey, mom," Conrad said cheerily. I, on the other hand looked everywhere but at Conrad or Susannah. He dragged me out of her bedroom under her shocked gaze. I pulled us into Belly's bedroom, which was on the same floor as the moms.

Conrad burst out laughing. I punched his arm.

"That was seriously not okay, Conrad. What the hell? We could've told her literally anything. Why that?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else," he said, not looking sorry at all.

I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head. "Well, she's gonna run her mouth and tell everyone now."

I sat down on Belly's bed, and put my head in my hands. Susannah's cancer was back. And she was refusing the trials.

I would support her decision, of course. But it was just- unfair. Tears streamed down my cheeks again as Conrad sat down beside me.

I looked at him. "Shit," I said.

________________________________________________________________________________A/n

Oof. 

Again, a shorter chapter, but only because I wanted it to be stand-alone. 

Also, I know in the books Steven's room is on the same floor as the moms, but I kind of wanted him on the same floor as Madi. It just made sense to put the youngest with the moms. 

If you enjoyed it, please comment and vote!! It really does help.